Elaborate Lives
by Miaka Neko
Summary: An Aida fan-fic exploring an alternate reality where Radames didn't make it to the docks in time to say goodbye to Aida. Updated! (and the formatting is fixed)
1. Avenue B

Elaborate Lives by Miaka Neko Elaborate Lives   
By Miaka Neko (Miaka1164@aol.com) 

Disclaimer: Aida belongs to Elton John, Disney, Hyperion Theatricals, etc. Not me. (Not me! And who'd have guessed I'd throw my-sorry). Rent belongs to Jonathan Larson and other cool people (why am I disclaiming Rent at the start of an Aida 'fic? There actually is a reason). Enjoy! 

Prologue Part I 

Note: If you have extreme Rent-phobia, this part isn't vital to the story, so just skip down to Prologue Part II. However, it does frame the story (much like the actual museum scene in the show) 

"Roger!" Mark yelled. The filmmaker was nearly out of breath by the time he caught up to his friend. The sign above him read Egyptian Wing. "Where the hell have you been?"   
Roger turned around. Why was Roger wearing all white? Mark suddenly wondered. Hadn't he been wearing a tank top that morning? "Um, do I know you?" Roger asked.   
Mark let out a sigh. "I'm Mark Cohen, you're Roger Davis, this is a museum, and you left to go out with Mimi and left me to realize that you left all the equipment for the gig tonight at the loft."   
Roger, or rather the stranger held out his hand. "Um…I'm Ryan Weiss. Who is this Roger guy anyway? This is the second time today someone's called me that."   
Mark held out his own hand in disbelief, but didn't have the energy to shake Ryan's-no, Roger's!. Dammit, he hadn't walked this far for this! "Okay, I just walked through all of the East Village and back trying to find you, even though that meant I had to walk past Maureen four times-four! Please, just a little bit of gratitude here!"   
"Are you okay?" Roger asked. "Here." He took out his driver's license. The profile matched Roger's exactly, but the name was as Roge-uh, Ryan claimed. Mark looked awkwardly up at Ryan, unsure of what to say. From the heat in his face he was sure he was turning some very interesting shades of red. "Um, you wouldn't happen to know someone named Mimi, would you?"   
"Well, yeah, she lives with me-" Ryan met him with a strange look. "Um, not like that, Roger is my roommate and Mimi lives with Roger-and so does our friend Collins. It's uh…not what you think."   
"Well if you see her, could you apologize to her for me?" Uh-oh, Mark thought. "I think I was a bit rude to her when I told her to stop hanging on me. She thought I was this Roger guy too."   
"Sure…" Mark mumbled. Mark knew the Davis family, and they had mentioned nothing about Roger having a twin who got separated at birth. "Too weird," he said under his breath.   
Ryan looked down at his watch. "Sorry, I have to go, there's a film starting downstairs. Hope you find your friend!"   
"Hey!" Mark yelled. "Did Mimi say where she was going?"   
"No, but I saw her with her boyfriend later on. It must have been that Roger guy."   
"Thanks!" 

"There you are," Mark grumbled. At least this one was wearing a tanktop.   
Roger looked up from the Egyptian weapons exhibit. "Mark, what are you doing here?"   
"Trying to find you," Mark said, leaning against the sign on the case which said 'do not lean on the glass.' "You do realize that you left all your equipment at the loft, right?"   
"Well, yeah, I wasn't planning on hauling it through my date with Mimi. Why?"   
Fuck, Mark mouthed. "Because I haven't done anything since 9 except to find you. I had to walk past Maureen twice-twice!"   
"And you know you enjoyed it," Roger smirked. "Thanks anyway. Besides, now you get to enjoy the pleasures of Ancient Egypt."   
After I parted with my precious $6.50, Mark thought. "Right now I think I liked you better when you still hated the world," Mark said grunted. "What happened to Mimi?"   
"She said she left what she was going to wear tonight at Maureen's. Women."   
"Wome-Whoh, shit!" Mark yelled.   
"What?" Roger asked, looking up.   
"That…that woman…" Mark pointed to a glass case containing a statue of a female pharaoh. "Doesn't she look like Maureen?"   
"A little," Roger said, looking up. "Whoh, you're right. You should tell Maureen, maybe she can incorporate being a descendant of pharaohs into her next performance."   
Mark reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out his wallet. "Hey, do you think if I sent my mother a postcard I could get out of calling her for a while?"   
Roger thought about it. "Maybe, but you know your mother." He looked down at an inscription of one of the artifacts. "Historians guess that whoever died here must have had some importance, considering how far it was buried under Egyptian sands-who the hell writes this stuff, anyway? And what is this thing?"   
"It's a tomb, moron," Mark said. The museum needed to learn how to turn off the air conditioning. It was November, and Mark was freezing.   
"The inhabitants were most likely buried alive?" Roger asked dubiously as he read the inscription further. "Owch. You'd have to do something pretty bad to have that happen."   
"Yeah, but what if you didn't?" Mark suddenly asked.   
"What do you mean?"   
"Well, let's say if you walk down Avenue A, you get buried in a tomb. But if you walk down Avenue B, you get the girl of your dreams."   
"Well, you could always move out of the East Village-"   
"Seriously, though. Dying in a tomb couldn't have been the only way for those people. I mean, if they had done just one thing differently, what would have happened?"   
Roger shrugged. "With a little bit of luck, they wouldn't have gotten buried in a tomb. Are you feeling okay, Mark?"   
"Yeah, I think so. It's 6 already, we should get to the gig." 

"Who actually buys this stuff?" Roger asked as he looked at a pair of Eye of Horus earrings.   
"The evil corporations of the world automatically assume that if they put crap out there we'll buy it. According to Collins, at least. Take McDonald's, for example. So, which one should I get?"   
Roger dubiously rotated the postcard rack. "Hmm, what about the Egyptian Wing?"   
Mark shrugged. "I looked, but I didn't really see anything of the stuff we had seen. Wait, here's a flower vase." He picked up a postcard. "It's worth a shot-aww, shit."   
"What?" Roger asked.   
"I dropped my wallet," Mark groaned. "I'll meet you at the gig, okay?"   
"I don't mind waiting, you know." Roger said. "Besides, I think I'm going to get the earrings for Mimi."   
"You're going to be late," Mark warned. "Besides, I think I left it on the Egyptian wing and that's on the third floor. It'll take too long." And I really don't want to watch you and Mimi make out for any longer than I had to.   
"Fine," Roger said as Mark put back the postcard and walked off. "Later!"   
Mark took back his thoughts almost as soon as he had thought them. Mimi wasn't just Roger's girlfriend, he was Mark's friend as well. But nothing more than that. No, he wasn't jealous of Roger. Mark sighed. So why do I hate everyone so much lately? 

It must have been by the Maure-pharaoh statue, Mark thought. Of course, that's where I looked to see if I had any money for a postcard. He looked around. That was where he had left his wallet, but where was the statue?   
"There," Mark said, seeing his wallet on the ground. Thank God, he thought. He was low enough on cash as it was.   
"Hey, is that yours?" a security guard next to him asked.   
"Yeah, sorry," Mark said, showing his license. "I dropped it on the way in." He looked up to find himself looking at the weapon's exhibit-except it seemed larger than before. "Hey…what happened to the statue of the female pharaoh?"   
The security guard gave him a strange look. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "We have some Ramses stuff, but the Cleopatra exhibit doesn't come in until next month."   
"You know, it was the one next to the tomb-"   
"What tomb?"   
Mark looked around the room. The tomb was gone, along with the statue. "Holy shit…" he said.   
"Please don't swear, sir-"   
Mark didn't hear him as he walked towards the area where the tomb and statue had once been, right next to the weapons exhibit. There was now only some information about the pharaohs of that time. "I think I just walked down Avenue B."   
Suddenly, the world was swirling together, getting dark…   
Mark's vision was gone by the time he passed out. 

Sorry for the extensive Rent crossover, but somebody needed to realize that things had been changed so I figured it might as well be Mark instead of Random Person A. The next part will be exclusively Aida-this and the end of the story are about as much Rent that you're going to see. Did anyone get my actor humor regarding the Radames reincarnation and Roger (as well as Maureen and Amneris?) Umm…please review? Tell me what you think!   



	2. Eyes of the Nile

Elaborate Lives by Miaka Neko Elaborate Lives Part II   
by Miaka Neko 

Author's notes are at the end. 

Aida couldn't help but notice with a strange bitterness how beautiful the countryside was. There was, after all, little else to do during the long boat ride. My countryside, she thought. My home. I'm going home.   
"How much farther, Mereb?" her father asked. With four people, the boat was crowded. No matter how she moved her back was crushed against the king's chest.   
"A couple more days, at least," Mereb answered. "We should probably stop for the night. We could hit a rock in the dark."   
"Not until we're farther out of Egypt," Aida said, her eyes not leaving the shore of the Nile. "It won't take the Egyptians long to know that we are gone. No doubt they're looking for us even as we speak."   
Are they? Aida wondered, even as the words left her mouth. She was vaguely aware of her father and Mereb exchanging words, but she paid them no attention. Amneris had told her that the wedding celebration would last all night long. Maybe they wouldn't notice until the next morning that their prized prisoner was gone, along with a worker and the slave who ran the captain's household. Or an insignificant hand maiden.   
'Every moment of my life, I'll think of you.' That was what he had told her. Even more so than when she had parted, Aida realized how long the rest of her life was. Another wave of desperation swept over her heart and forbidden tears threatened to take over her eyes. She bit her lip and looked out to the other side of the Nile once more. Only the gods knew if they were actually in Nubia yet. Still, her surroundings gave her some comfort. She hugged her arms to her side for warmth. It was amazing that even the desert could be cold. The worst is over, she reminded herself. I've already left him. I can do this.   
Despite her determination, her mind betrayed her with possibilities. Maybe if her eyes were strong enough, she'd see him standing at the docks all the way back in Egypt. Would Radames command the search team himself? She shook her head. Of course, he was the captain of the Egyptian army. Egyptian, she reminded herself. My enemy. Radames, how…? She bit her lip harder. Better to have lost him, when the ties were barely binding…   
A few more hours passed quietly. In the distance, she could see the beginnings of sunrise peeking across the hills. 'The night will always end, and the sun will rise.' Her mother had told her that once when she was young. Oh gods…   
"We should stop," Mereb said, breaking the silence as well as her thoughts. Aida looked at her father's reaction. "We've traveled far enough."   
"Alright," her father said. He turned to the other slave in the boat who had been paddling. Aida couldn't remember his name to save her life. The slave, or rather ex-slave nodded, and brought the boat closer to the shore.   
Aida managed somehow not to get wet as she climbed out of the boat. Her father found a nearby rock to tie the boat to. He and the ex-slave quickly dismissed themselves as they surveyed the area. Aida was grateful. As much as she had missed her father and was conscious of the loss they both almost had shared, the atmosphere between them was as tense as it was during their meeting the prison.   
"I'll keep watch," Mereb told her.   
Aida shook her head. "Don't be silly, you must be as exhausted as the rest of us."   
Mereb smiled. "To be honest, princess, I don't think I could even sleep." He paused. "I'm…I'm going home Aida. Gods, I don't even remember what it looks like. But…I've never wanted anything more in my entire life." He smiled. "Sleeping didn't even occur to me."   
Aida put a hand on his shoulder. "I understand. Nubia it's…it's more than I can put into words. But Mereb, sleep. We have a long couple of days ahead of us. Here, if you take the first shift, I'll take the second one."   
"Aida-"   
"Or I'll throw you out of the boat tomorrow," she said with a grin. "Fair?"   
Mereb sighed. "Fair."   
"I should join my father," she said.   
"Aida?" Mereb asked.   
She turned around.   
"You…you did the right thing. I'm sorry, I can't understand, and I don't approve, but I know it must have been hard for you."   
"Thank you," she finally said.   
Aida turned away then, and faced the Nile shore once more. From underneath her dress she pulled out the Eye of Horus amulet. She fingered the edges like a lost jewel. She smiled sadly to herself, then walked to the shore. "Radames, I'm sorry…" she whispered. 

"Don't let anyone get there until I've arrived!" Radames shouted. Around him, the world was exploding into chaos. Soldiers were shouting orders, trying desperately to get into some sort of formation. Radames couldn't help but notice how silly they looked trying to act like an army-in their dress uniforms.   
Only Amneris stood still, as if physically unable to move. The princess was always beautiful, but in her wedding dress she was nothing short of divine. Radames had never hated her more than now. She turned to him. Amneris. His wife. "Radames…" she said. There was no tone at all in her voice. She had said his name countless times before, but now there was an alien tone to it. Crystal blue eyes met his own. Amneris. His wife.   
She knew, Radames realized with newfound panic. She knew. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but turned away. Aida. There was no time. Aida would be in that boat.   
His legs weren't moving fast enough when he opened the flap to his tent. Save for some of his clothes, it was barren now. Aida had seen to that. He allowed himself a glimpse at the corner of the tent. Memories of-no, that was a lifetime ago. Even longer, now. There was no turning back. So why am I…?   
Radames quickly threw off the wedding garments and found a gray tunic and pants. He grabbed his sword and ran from the tent, towards the docks.   
When he was younger, he used to race Amneris down to the docks. For a girl and for a princess, she was surprisingly fast. He usually beat her, but he had to run as fast as he could in order to do so. But sometimes she would have a head start, or was simply faster. In his boyish pride, he would cry out to the gods for speed. And for a moment, he would feel nothing but pure desperation as his body failed to connect with his mind. His heart.   
The way he felt now. His feet weren't moving fast enough. Whatever pride and strength he had gained in adulthood left him now. In his mind, he saw her black hair waving in the night wind. She was wearing the pink handmaiden dress Amneris had given to her, the dress she had been wearing when he had given her his heart. "Radames…" Aida seemingly whispered. But it was only the wind, only his imagination.   
She couldn't have, he thought. She wouldn't have…   
He didn't realize how fast he was running until the exhaustion almost brought him to his feet. Painful gasps of air finally escaped his lungs. Only the sound of the Nile greeted him. The dock was empty. Radames' pace slowed, then stopped altogether.   
Of course, it all made sense now. It had all been a ruse to let her king escape. Every word, every gesture…it was all a lie. Aida had spun her web well. And, he, Radames, Egypt's most loyal servant, he had fallen right into it.   
He suddenly felt unbelievably tired, as if all the exhaustion from his running, all his pain from this night and all the rest was coming crashing down on him at once. Breathe. Breathe again. And out. Don't think, don't think…oh gods…   
Radames sank to his knees. "No…!"   
For the first time since his childhood, he wept. 

Someone was speaking to her. "This way, Princess," Zoser said, putting a firm hand on her arm.   
Amneris looked up. This wasn't real, couldn't be real. But of course, nothing had been tonight. "Zoser, what is going on?" she managed to ask.   
"The King of Nubia has escaped," he told her. "We don't know what else the slaves may do, we need to get you to safety."   
"Where's…Radames?" she asked. Gone, she told herself. In a matter of moments, the world had shattered, her husband gone with it.   
"He's going after the fugitives," he told her. "Please, princes-"   
In the distance, she caught sight of a form sprinting towards the docks. Radames.   
"Wait!" she yelled, breaking into a run. Behind her, she heard Zoser's protests. Someone made a grab for her. With strength she didn't know she had, Amneris pushed her unwanted protector away.   
Amneris had lived in the palace all her life, and she knew its passages well. Some of the people she passed tried to stop her, others were simply part of the confusion. Near the entrance of the palace, she nearly tripped on her wedding veil. Angrily, she ripped the garment off. She felt bitter when she remembered how she had obsessed over that veil only a week before. Now, it was torn and dirty, much like herself.   
She didn't understand her own emotions anymore. She remembered her childhood times of pain when she would cling to Radames for comfort, and he would embrace her and tell her everything was going to be alright. She needed him now.   
As she neared the docks she spotted the army assembling not far away. Captains and officers, polite when in the presence of the princess, now spat curses and insults like commoners. Her shoes weren't practical for the terrain, and Amneris kicked them off too.   
She could see Radames in the distance now. She didn't understand his reason for coming to the docks at all, for they were empty. Tired with exhaustion, Amneris allowed herself to slow to a fast walk.   
"Radames!" she yelled. In her fatigue the word hardly came out. "Radames…"   
She was close enough now that she could see him kneeling down, facing sideways towards the dock…oh gods, crying? Amneris stopped completely. Unwillingly her hands covered her mouth. Even when they were children, Radames had never…   
For the first time in her life, Amneris couldn't speak. The Nile silently ran its course, neverending towards its goal. Amneris took a step closer, placing a gloved hand on his shoulder.   
Radames jerked back. In surprise, Amneris quickly withdrew her hand. Tearful eyes met her own, becoming even more alien and frightening now that she could see into their depths. "Radames…?"   
"What do you want, Princess?" he asked bitterly, his eyes never losing contact with her own. "She's gone now, you know."   
"Who-"   
"Aida," Radames said quickly. He squeezed his eyes shut and repeated the name again, this time louder. "Aida!"   
"What…what happened?" Amneris asked. Her mind traveled back to Radames' words to his lover. She had been so far removed from this world that she had hardly had heard what the couple had said at all, still reeling from the sight of their frantic kisses. She'd only seen that look of wonder on the Captain's face when Radames talked of his travels. With the Princess, it was one of formality and politeness.   
He laughed bitterly, something nearly as frightening and foreign as his tears. "It was all a trap, Princess, to free her king. She tricked us both. Hah, there's something we finally have in common."   
Now tears were starting to blink in her own eyes as Amneris asked what she already knew in her heart. Some perverse force made her confirm it. "It…it's true, then?"   
Radames smiled angrily. "Yes Princess, it's true. What would you like to know? I can tell you anything you'd like. We kissed for the first time by the Nile, and the second time it went a lot further than that. Do you want to know our positions? I can draw a diagram if you'd like."   
Finally, the tears broke loose. She was running again, any direction but towards Radames. (more stuff)   
Finally, she collapsed on the sands, sobbing. Gods, her entire body hurt…she wanted nothing more but for someone to pick her up and carry her from that place-her father, her mother, gone for so long, Zoser, Radames, Aida-   
A wave of hatred washed over her. Someday you'll find a stronger suit, the slave had told her with a smile. It was all a lie, she thought over and over again. She clenched her fists together, not having the energy to pound them into the ground. "Damn you," she whispered. "Damn you both, for making me care…!"   
Amneris had to fight to gain breath. Her hair had fallen into a disheveled mass. It fell over her eyes, and as she moved her hands to push it away, she couldn't help but notice how ugly it looked now. How unlike a princess. Finally, she surrendered to complete mindless sobbing. Anything but to think right now… 

Radames snapped back into reality. Amneris. She had been there, and then-   
He got to his feet and turned to see the Princess lying in a disheveled heap about thirty feet away. He nearly choked as he remembered his own words. He had been so lost in the moment and his own emotions that he hadn't realized that the person who had dared disturb his memory had been Amneris. His friend. Gods, none of this from the start had been her fault. He hadn't meant the words, hadn't even realized he had spoken them, and now-   
Radames knelt and put a hand on her back. Much like he had only a few minutes ago, Amneris jerked away in surprise. "Don't touch me!" she yelled. The hate in her eyes tore through his heart.   
"Amneris," he said. "I'm so sor-"   
"You can go to hell for all I care," she spat, rising to her feet. She was still struggling to gain composure. "Gods, what did I ever do to either one of you?"   
She broke off into a run. "Amneris!" Radames yelled. "Amneris!" 

Far away, a form rose to begin the second shift of her watch. Maybe as her gaze drifted down the Nile, her eyes met another two pairs at another end. 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Um, okay, that probably wasn't a very nice place to leave off. But that's not the end, so don't worry. There's a lot more to come. 

This was a response to a challenge on the Aida board, concerning what would happen if Radames didn't reach the dock in time. There's quite a bit more to go. This is just the start. Please read and review. I'll try to have the next part up within the next week or two.   



	3. Last Words

Elaborate Lives Chapter 3: Last Words by Miaka Neko Part III: Last Words 

Disclaimer: Aida and all it's characters belong to Hyperion Theatricals. 

One month later 

The doctor stepped outside the Pharaoh's chamber. "You can come in now, Princess," he told her. Amneris looked up from her chair outside her father's room, interrupted from her thoughts.   
"Of…of course," she stammered, looking up at the doctor. Gathering her dress together, she got to her feet.   
"I need to fetch some more supplies," the doctor said. A grim look crossed his face. "Princess, it's not in the nature of my work to be pessimistic, but if there's any last words you need to say to your father, I'd say them soon. I don't know how many more days he has left."   
Amneris nodded, afraid to speak. Any sound might betray her feelings. The Princess would not be upset. She was casually worried about her father, but was confident in the medicines of healers and preferred to go back to her wardrobe. Amneris, on the other hand, was terrified.   
She laughed to herself. How silly of me, she thought to herself. It's a waste of my time being here. Of course my father will be all right. Why, and I'm missing my time at the bazaar, and the other women of the palace must be wondering where I am, and-   
It was then Amneris realized that she was shaking. She took in a deep breath, determined not to let the sobbing start again. She'd spent too many hours on too many days outside her father's room on the very same chair crying her eyes out. Amneris was determined not to start again.   
She strummed her fingers over the doorknob absentmindedly. It was true; she could leave, and no one would think of it. The doctor could tell the Pharaoh that his daughter was otherwise busy. After all, that had been the message every day for the last two weeks, ever since her father had been too weak to sit on the throne. So many times she had almost come in when the doctor called, only to excuse herself, or to run… Gods, anywhere but here, anything but the truth…   
I can still get to the bazaar if I hurry, she thought to herself, taking a few steps now to leave the Pharaoh's corridors.   
If there are any last words you need to say to your father…last words…last words…   
A deep breath of air filled her lungs. Amneris dug her fingernails into her palms. I have to, she realized with horrifying reality. If just for his sake.   
Amneris wiped her eyes before turning the knob. Her father couldn't see her like this. She caught her reflection on the metallic surface of the walls. A dreary-eyed reflection greeted her. Gods, she looked ugly when she cried, she thought, realizing that tears must have betrayed her after all.   
I'm not crying! she mentally insisted. I…just have something in my eye.   
"Father?" she called softly as she entered the Pharaoh's bedchamber.   
The sight that greeted her ripped her heart. Her father looked even worse than when she had seen him last. His already pale skin was now almost completely white. His eyes were open, but there was an unfamiliar glaze upon them. If it wasn't for the familiar crown and clothes, she wouldn't have recognized the shriveled man before her.   
"Amneris…!" he said happily. He let out a weak smile. Amneris thanked the gods for that gesture; now she could begin to recognize the man in front of her.   
"Father," she said, kneeling down by his bed. You see? she argued to herself. He's fine. He's not going to die…going to die…going to die…any last words…   
"It's…so good to…see you," the Pharaoh said. Even if all the strength was gone from his body and from his voice, it still shown brightly in his eyes. "I was hoping to see you one last time before-"   
"Don't talk like that," Amneris said quickly. "The doctors have been telling the ministers that you're getting better every day, and that you'll return soon." She smiled in spite of herself. "I've so much to tell you, and-"   
"Then tell it...quickly, child," he told her. That sad smile returned. "I've told the doctors to keep news...of my condition...quiet for the sake of Egypt. Gods...only know...the spirit of our...country...ever since...Amonosro escaped. But I fear this...may be the last...time I see you in...this world."   
Tears unwillingly sprung to her eyes. It took all of her strength not to let them fall. "That's not true," she said. "That's not true! Don't tease me like that, father." I have to get out of here, a voice inside her panicked. I have to get out of here.   
The Pharaoh lifted a shaking hand and enclosed it around her own. When had it become so wrinkled? Amneris wondered. The touch was both comforting and chilling. "It makes me so...happy that you and...Radames are together. Egypt will...be in safe hands. He's a good man, and he'll...lead our people...to the victory I wish I could...live to see. He is loyal, and he...loves you. He'll take...care of...you. I can die...because I know he will."   
Amneris nodded. "Yes, father." Bitterness welled up inside of her. If only you knew, she thought. If only you knew…   
Amneris didn't understand why she hadn't told anyone about Radames' betrayal. She had ever right to, after all. He had disgraced her, betrayed Egypt, and now would take the throne. She needed to tell, if just for the sake of her country. There were a few times she appeared before the court, ready to tell everything, but then found she had no voice. The last time she had tried had been only a few days ago. After excusing herself from the court with a comment about some new fabric from Babylon coming in, she returned to her bedchamber and vomited. She wouldn't, no, couldn't tell. No matter what the situation between her and Radames, she couldn't justify taking away his life. Gods, they'd bury him under the sands.   
The door opened, revealing the doctor with a new bag of supplies. "Princess, I need some time alone again with the patient, if it's alright."   
Amneris nodded, standing up. She needed to get out of the room. Now. "Of course."   
The Pharaoh looked drowsy. "Wait, doctor, can you leave us just a few more minutes? I want time with my daughter..." There was a pleading, desperate look in his eyes. Strange, coming from her father, always the aggressor.   
Amneris couldn't speak. "I...I need to go," she said, trying to move towards the door. "I'll see you soon, alright? The doctor...needs to help you. You're going to get better, father."   
"Amneris...!" the Pharaoh groaned.   
"Yes...father?" No tears, no tears, oh gods, please...   
"I love you."   
Amneris nodded and smiled. "May the gods go with you."   
She didn't make it out of the Pharaoh's chambers before she collapsed. For the first time, she didn't hold back. She didn't have the strength any more. Amneris leaned against the wall and hugged her knees against her chest.   
"I...love you too," she whispered. 

"Neris?" Radames called. He knocked again on the door to his bedchamber. "Neris, are you in there? Neris?" He shrugged. It must be safe, he thought. It was early, and his wife was probably still with her women.   
He opened the door and took a step inside to find the princess of Egypt completely naked on her bed. The clothes she had been wearing earlier that day were on the floor.   
"Sorry!" Radames apologized. He turned around so he no longer faced Amneris' naked form. She must be changing into her nightgown, he realized. Heat began to creep up his face. Radames was sure it was turning some interesting shades of red. "I thought you heard me."   
"No, as a matter of fact," the Princess answered. "Knock louder next time."   
Radames let out a laugh. "I didn't even know that you knew how to dress yourself. You always get the women to do it for you."   
"I know a lot of things you probably didn't know I did," she said. Her tone was flippant, but there was an element of bitterness behind it. "Indian cooking, belly dancing, acupuncture…why, I could take over your job as Pharaoh. Not that I would want to wear the crown, it's so ugly, and it doesn't go with anything-"   
Radames let out a sigh. Words had been spoken between them, but they hadn't talked in weeks. Amneris knew the truth, for sure, but it didn't mean she wanted to discuss it. The truth hurt, but the silence was even worse. "Can we stop this?" Radames asked.   
"Stop what?" Amneris asked. "You can turn around now. I'm sorry, by the way, if the sight of my nakedness scares you so much. Maybe the Nubians can give you a crash-course in-wait, that already happened-"   
"This!" Radames exclaimed, now turning around and meeting her eyes. "We're going to be married for the rest of our lives, can we at least try to get along? You haven't even talked to me in the last three weeks."   
Something must have happened, he thought, to get any sort of show of emotion from Amneris at all. Most days he'd been lucky if she said good morning. Still, this wasn't much of an improvement...   
Amneris shrugged and smiled. "Fine, you can sleep with Shu, she's one of my handmaidens, and I can sleep with Minister Haken. How about that? And then afterwards we can go shopping at the bazaar."   
Radames sighed. "How did you know, anyway?"   
"About what?" Amneris asked innocently.   
She knew, of course. She just wanted to hear him say it. "About me and…her." The last word fell like a weight. Radames knew his wife felt it just as heavily as he did.   
"The night we were married I was out taking a walk. I like to do that too, you know. I saw you kissing, and telling her you'd give her the boat." She paused for a moment. "You let Amonosro get away, didn't you?"   
Radames froze. For one of the rare times in his life he was truly terrified. While the news that he had slept with a slave girl he might hurt his reputation, word that he had let the Nubian king escape, even unwillingly, would bury him beneath the sand. "It...wasn't on purpose. I wanted her to be safe. Letting the king escape was never my intention. You...heard about the boat as well?" He could only pray that he hadn't lost his voice.   
"Over the sound of your kissing, somehow, yes." A sad, serious expression crossed her face. "I'm not going to tell anyone. Not for any great love of you, but because Egypt won't be able to handle the death of one ruler only to find that the new one is a traitor. I'm not as selfish as you think."   
The word stung, especially coming from Amneris. Traitor, his mind repeated. Traitor, traitor, traitor. I didn't know, he told himself once again. All I did was fool around, the exact same thing my father does ever gods damned night. No, it wasn't just fooling around, Aida was so much more than-   
Damn, he had gone so long without thinking her name…   
"How many others were there?" Amneris asked. She was turned away again.   
"Just her," Radames replied. And it was the truth. He couldn't tell if it was a relief or painful to speak openly. "She was the first." Silence. "I promise I'm not lying."   
"Then why?" Amneris' voice had grown soft. "Why her?"   
"Because I loved her. And I thought she loved me."   
"I love-loved you," Amneris whispered. Radames couldn't tell if it was her intent to put the word in the present or past tense.   
"She was everything I thought I was ever meant to be, everything I was about to lose and I wanted so badly-"   
"Fine, I understand!" Amneris shouted. "Gods, Radames, keep to your military campaigns. They come out a lot better than your love speeches."   
Radames sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that. Neris, I..." She wasn't listening, he realized. She had picked up a brush and had begun combing her hair.   
He raised his eyebrows. I tried, Radames thought. That's doing better than she is right now.   
Radames grabbed the top comforter and a pillow off of their bed and began to arrange them on the floor.   
"What are you doing?" Amneris asked.   
"Sleeping on the floor," Radames answered. "People will ask too many questions if I go somewhere else."   
"Am I that revolting?" Amneris hissed.   
"You haven't been sleeping well lately," Radames replied. "I thought maybe if-"   
"For gods' sake, my father is dying, what do you expect me to do?" Amneris sighed. "Sleep on the floor if you want to."   
Silence again. Radames laid down and pulled the pillow behind his head. "Goodnight, Amneris." 

Midnight, Amneris realized. She sat up and looked at the form sleeping beneath her. "Radames?" she called. "Radames, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."   
No luck, he was sound asleep. One thing most of the Egyptian army didn't know was that when the captain was sleeping you couldn't wake him if you dropped the Sphinx on his head. Amneris couldn't help but smile. Radames looked...peaceful when he was smiling, as if the pain of the last few months hadn't happened. Like when they were kids, and the most important thing in the world was who won the next race.   
"Aida..." he mumbled.   
Pain stabbed through her heart. Amneris immediately laid down under the covers again. Of course, she thought to herself. I knew it. Gods, why does this even surprise me any more?   
There was an urgent pounding at the door. What now? Amneris wondered. "Princess, Captain! It's the Pharaoh!" 

A week later 

"We stand here today at the end of an era," Zoser announced.   
Several feet away, Radames tensed. The ceremony had gone on for hours now in an endless regime of rituals, and he still hadn't been able to sit down. Radames' relationship with his father had been poor for the last month, but he still appreciated the fact that he gave short speeches. One of the perks of being monarch must be the actual throne, he thought. The rest of the court had to stay on their feet. Next to him, tears began to spring into Amneris' eyes. The last week had been hard for her, and seeing anyone else besides her father wear the crown was going to be hard. Behind her mask, she must be even worse. Radames put his hand around her own. He immediately regretted his mistake. Amneris didn't show anything for fear their arguing being seen by the public, but he could tell she was uncomfortable. The tears quickly disappeared.   
"Our Pharaoh was with our people for fifty years before the gods took him from us," Zoser continued. "What gifts they have given our great land the gods have taken back. Such is their way. But now the gods have blessed us again."   
"Radames, son of Zoser, come forward," the priest called.   
It was ironic that the spot they had chosen for the coronation had such a great view of the Nile, he thought. The palace was high enough that he could see over the crowd, could still see his ship docked in the port. Only now it would never be sailed again, at least not by him. Gods, how was this happening?   
Radames took several steps forward and knelt before the priest. As per tradition, he closed his eyes as the priests anointed him with the sacred oils. The head priest broke into the ancient tongue. Radames made out some of the words, but not enough to understand the meaning. He wondered briefly what would happen if he tried to run. You'd be buried alive, he reminded himself. Like I should be now...traitor...   
Nothing is an accident…   
This isn't happening… he thought. His heart began to race in panic.   
We are free to have it all…   
Her words echoed through his mind. If you don't like your fate, change it!   
We are what we want to be…   
Aida...   
It's in ourselves to rise or fall…   
He could feel the weight of the crown on his head now, it was happening, it had happened, oh gods...oh gods....   
Fortune favors the free…   
Radames opened his eyes to the crowd below him. Terror filled his stomach. "Long live the Pharaoh!"   
  
Author's notes: Sorry this took a while. Am I doing okay on Amneris? She's a really hard character to write because she's such a fine line between being serious and ditzy. 

Some of the stuff I got from the Atlanta version (I've been having fun listening to the bootleg). Radames mentions in that version that the Pharaoh used to pick up him and Amneris and toss them both in the Nile (Radames says "I loved that" as Amneris says at the exact same time "I hated that"). Shu is the name of one of the handmaidens in the Atlanta version. Ugh, the version of "My Strongest Suit" was NOT very good…but it was kind of funny to listen to. Also, part of Radames' speech about why he loves Aida came from the Atlanta version where after Radames is captured Amneris more or less asks him this question. 

As for Aida being Radames' first, this might not seem to make a lot of sense. After all, his career used to be enslaving. But the math doesn't really add up if you think about it. Using Adam Pascal as a model (NOT Patrick Cassidy, who looks a lot of older), Radames is in his mid-twenties. Let's say 25. He and Amneris have been engaged for 9 years, so his first time would have had to have been at 16 at the latest. Okay, actually, that's not all that young (especially for ancient Egypt), but that's assuming Radames is at least 25. He could be younger. Even if Radames was older or had been involved, it wouldn't have been with a slave, ruling out that he's had a lot of women via his conquests. He's thrown very off guard by Aida. The only thing this really leaves is other Egyptian women. I suppose it's possible, but I just never got the impression that Radames cheated on Amneris pre-Aida. Okay, so my logic's not great. But go along with it for the sake of the story. 

Hopefully the next part won't take as long (we get to see what Aida is up to). And eventually this story will stop being angsty, although not for another couple of chapters. Please please review! I'll...um...give you an Adam Pascal clone! (Um, actually I won't, because if I had one I'd keep it for myself). Pretty please?   



	4. One More Longing Backward Glance: Nubia

Elaborate Lives by Miaka Neko (Wow, this took long enough. Author's notes at end.) 

Disclaimer: Aida belongs to Disney, Hyperion Theatricals, etc, NOT ME (not me!) 

Part IV: One More Longing Backward Glance: Nubia 

Aida couldn't bring herself to let it drop. In the moonlight, luminescence played off the amulet's sides. She hadn't really looked at it, studied it before. At least not meticulously as she did now. Maybe it was because now she didn't know if she'd ever see it again. She brushed a finger along its side. There were all sorts of indentations and curves she had never noticed before. It was…beautiful, really.   
The wind was refreshing after the long heat of the day. Below her, the Nile continued along its course. At least the river was the same in Egypt. Aida laughed bitterly to herself. No, even that wasn't true. The color was different. We don't even have that much, Radames, she thouhgt. There was nothing left any more. Just let it drop, her mind told her. Stop it now. It's almost over.   
"Are you coming, Princess?" one of her handmaidens called. "The river isn't safe at night."   
"In a minute, Nailah," Aida answered. "I just need to finish something."   
Whatever response the girl made, Aida didn't hear it. It has to stop, she repeated. She unfastened the amulet and held it by the top of the chain. It swayed slowly like a pendulum. There, that was the next step. Now there was just one more left.   
How did I get here…? she wondered.   
Swing, swing again… Aida moved her trembling hand, still clutching the amulet, over the river. It would only take a second to drop it, and then she could return to her room and its warmth, the comfort of her friends, the respect of her sister, and the love of her father. She could be Aida again, the Aida she used to know. The Aida who was confident and loved her people and her family. Loved her country. The Aida who knew she was and what was right or wrong. As if nothing had ever happened.   
But it had. Within a matter of hours, her entire world had been turned upside down yet again. But the circle had almost completed. She would be Aida again. She had come so close tonight, and wasn't going to stop now.   
Aida studied the amulet again, giving in just one last time to weakness. Why do we have to be enemies, Radames…? She smiled bitterly. All I have to do is forget how much I…gods, how did I get here? 

She could still remember the night of her return to Nubia vividly, even though it had been months ago now. It had taken five days by boat to cross her country's border, another two to reach Kaita.   
It was night, she'd never forget that. Her father was trying to convince the other occupants in the boat to stop for the night. Only two nights before, suspecting the Egyptians were following them, they had traveled too far into the night and had almost capsized when they hit a rock under the water. Only some very quick thinking and maneuvering the boat ashore kept the hole from breaching to the point of being unfixable.   
Still, Mereb was amazingly persistent. He wouldn't show any disrespect to her father, but when it came to herself and Nekhar, the other Nubian in the boat, Mereb didn't try to hold back his anticipation.   
Aida's thoughts had been blank that night. The first night they had she had shamefully sobbed herself to sleep. When Mereb had come to get relief for his post as sentry, she had only fallen asleep minutes ago. The second night she cried herself to sleep again, but by the third, she found that she physically had no tears left.   
By that time her entire body and mind drifted into numbness. For long days and nights there was nothing to do. Occasionally her father, Mereb, or Nekhar would talk idly, but eventually even that drifted into silence. Aida found it best not to think at all, because too many things reminded her of him.   
Only yesterday they had passed the first cataract. Aida at first found it hard to keep her eyes shut, but then curiosity won her over and she opened her eyes. Radames hadn't been lying. It was the more beautiful place she had ever seen, unlike anything in southern Nubia. Wild and untamed, yet noble and beautiful. In the distance, she could see the islands Radames had spoken of. She wondered which one he would have built their house on, where they would hunt for game, where they would launch off their boat to explore the Nile. Although she was crowded close to the others in the boat, Aida never felt so alone.   
Eventually they passed the cataract and the countryside began to change throughout the next day and a half. The species of trees started to look familiar, the birds made sounds she had heard before. And then…a familiar outcropping of rock in the river. A tree that was somehow familiar. Her heart began to speed up. It couldn't be, was it, if only it was…   
A bird's nest that she had remembered seeing a few months ago. No, there were many nests in Nubia, it couldn't be true…but then there was a familiar bend in the river…   
She hadn't realized how tightly she was clutching Mereb's arm. He, in return, was squeezing her hand so tightly she was beginning to lose circulation. Aida didn't notice. Her entire body was shaking. It couldn't be, never had she thought that she could actually return…   
In the back of the boat, she could here Nekhar, the other Nubian, sobbing. She looked to see her father close his eyes in relief. For the first time since she had left her village, she could tell he was at peace. The nightmare was almost over, almost, just a few more turns around the river-   
"Halt!" yelled a voice. The fantasy came screeching to a stop. Terror filled Aida's heart. Had the Egyptians followed them, after all? On and off they had seen signs of them, was it a mistake to think they had truly eluded them? Had they come this far, just to lead their own people into a trap?   
"Who's there?" yelled her father, stepping out into the shallow water, sword ready. "Stay back, Aida," he whispered, his voice fierce.   
"Father!" Aida cried. She perched into position, ready to jump at whoever might attack. She had no sword, but she knew a few tricks with her fist that might give them the precious time they would need to escape.   
"Your Majesty?" asked the voice.   
"I am Amonosro of Nubia," her father said. "Identify yourself."   
She could hear the scuffle a few feet away of someone dropping to their knees. The figure was too shocked to answer the king's question. "Princess!" he yelled.   
At that moment the moon came into view, illuminating the new figure. Aida recognized Shulan immediately. He was only a few years older than she, the son of a noble in the court, a childhood friend, and the last person she had spoken to before leaving Nubia. Aida nearly flew out of the boat and into the shocked soldier's arms.   
"Call off your arms!" another soldier yelled into the darkness. A sentry, Aida realized. Of course, with the Egyptians such a threat, of course…   
Then they were stepping out of the boat and hastily following the small group of soldiers. Aida recognized this place clearly now. She had hiked here before, and while it wasn't far from Kaita, the journey seemed to so long now, no matter how fast she moved her feet.   
Aida choked as the outline of her village came into view. More sentries approached them now, quickly exchanging words with Shulan and her father. Soon they were being led into the village itslf. She spared a look at Mereb. A lone tear ran down his cheek. Aida patted his hand reassuringly.   
It was as if the sun had already risen. In what seemed like only seconds, what seemed like a thousand torches were illuminated within the huts and houses of Kaita. An endless ocean of familiar faces were hugging her, kissing her, sharing her tears all at once.   
"Aida!" screamed a familiar voice. At the edge of the crowd, Aida was able to make out her mother and her sister's faces.   
Hugging a childhood friend one last moment, Aida waved her arms into the air. "Mama!" Aida yelled. A smiled sprad onto her face. "Tauret!"   
"Someone let the Queen and the Princess through!" someone had the good sense to yell. Somehow the crowd parted, until finally she was embracing her mother and sister.   
"We feared the worse," her mother sobbed, burying Aida into her arms. "Oh gods, Aida…"   
Aida looked into her mother's eyes, grinning like a child. "I'm okay, Mama. I'm okay." She turned to her older sister next, her embraced her with equal passion. Soon her father was behind them, kissing and hugging her mother, and then her sister.   
For the first time since she left Egypt, she forgot about the amulet tucked under her dress. She was home. 

Aida had been staring off into space and hadn't realized that she had dropped the sack of grain.   
"Are you alright, Princess?" called one of the field workers.   
Aida nodded her head, regaining her concentration. "Yes, thank you," she answered, bending down to pick up the grain.   
Being a princess hadn't excused her from working with the rest of her people, and neither had it excused her brothers and sisters. Still, Aida help but feel silly now. Harvesting grain was the most important thing she could do.   
It had been two weeks now since she returned from Egypt. Aida had offered to help her father in the council room, and he had even accepted. But compared to her people's strategians, there was little she could offer on warfare. And when they began to talk about Egypt, her stomach began to feel sick. At the end of the days meeting, she just excused herself. The next day she tried working with Tauret with her studies. Her sister hadn't been kidding: it was tough work, and you had to be absolutely insane to enjoy it. Finally, Aida had to accept that maybe her place in life wasn't as important as she had thought. Grain harvesting was her last resort.   
"Aida!" Tauret called out from the other side of the field.   
"Tauret!" Aida yelled back, waving her arms and grinning. The scholar was carrying a tome under her arm and walking toward her. It was strange to see Tauret in the fields, instead of in a dimly lit hut with her parchment and ink.   
"How goes the harvest, sister?" Tauret asked her once she had caught up with her.   
Aida shrugged and smiled. "Well enough. There's still a lot of work do be done, but it will be a good season this year. What brings such knowledgable persons out in the sun, O Wise One?"   
"I'm looking for you, actually," Tauret said. "Could you spare a moment to take a walk with me? My eyes need a break from the parchment."   
Aida turned to the others in the field. There would be enough people to get the day's work done, and she hadn't taken a break for a while. "But of course," she grinned.   
Tauret held out an arm, which Aida accepted. "I think you've gotten taller," Tauret said as they strolled towards the Nile.   
"Really?" Aida asked. She looked down at her own form. If anything, she thought she had become skinnier since her capture. While Amneris never deprived her of food, there was little on Radames' barge and had been little on her silent boat ride return.   
Oh no, Aida thought, an ugly feeling creeping into her stomach. Not again. Couldn't think about it. Tauret obviously sensed her discomfort. "So tell me of Nubia," Aida said.   
Tauret laughed sadly and shook her head. "It's Nubia." She paused and looked downwards. "Although I am engaged now."   
"Truly?" Aida asked, laughing. "It's about time."   
Tauret smirked. "Speak for yourself, you're nearly as old as I am."   
"You and Kailan will be so-"   
Tauret shook her head. "No, not to Kailan. To Relak."   
It took Aida a moment to register the name. Of course, Relak, one of the nobles in her father's court. He was a kind man, but old. "What about Kailan, then? You've loved each other for years." Tauret raised an eyebrow and Aida sighed. "You can't hide from me."   
"No, it's alright. Relak is a good man. Besides, there's been so much happening I've barely thought about it. Gods, Aida, you've been the only thing that's really happened." She removed her arm from Aida's and placed her hands around one of Aida's. "You have no idea what's happened since you disappeared. We sent men to the Egyptian border, the priests prayed for your return-"   
Guilt streamed though her heart. "That much?" Aida asked.   
Tauret smiled again sadly. "You have no idea what you've put us through since-"   
"Yes I do!" Aida said angrily, removing her hand from Tauret's. "It was my fault, although I'm sure you already know that." Her sister opened her mouth to speak, but Aida continued. "I snuck away with the Nehebka and the others, and that's why it all happened. Nehebka is dead, if you didn't already-"   
"Aida!" Tauret interrupted, but she kept on going.   
"-know. I know you told me that night that it was a silly idea, and I did it anyway, Tauret! I did it anyway! I'm a fool, I know-"   
"Aida!!"   
Aida exhaled, and finally stopped her words. "I know," Tauret said. "I know, and I still think you're foolish for doing so. But you're not guilty for what the Egyptian bastards-"   
For some reason those words stung. "-did to you and the others." Tauret pulled Aida into an embrace. "The only thing you're guilty of is being you, and making us all care for you so much. It wasn't your fault."   
If she wasn't careful, she was going to start to cry again. "You think so?" Aida asked.   
Tauret sighed. "You know I would never admit to being wrong. Besides, father told me about what you did there."   
Oh no, Aida panicked. No, he wouldn't tell, it was too much of an embarassment, and as much as Mereb liked to talk he wouldn't- "Tauret, I can explain!" Aida insisted.   
"I'm not sure you can. How did you grow up so fast, Aida?"   
"Tauret, I never meant to-"   
"I could have never lead our people like that. And yet Mereb and father tell me you gave them back hope."   
Aida tried not to let the relief show on her face. A new feeling of pride covered it up. Tauret was proud of her. Tauret, who she had always looked up to, and was so smart and mature, was proud of her. Aida, her little sister. "Well…yes, I did do that."   
"You know," Tauret said with a sly grin. "You've changed since you got back."   
Aida smiled sadly. "I've seen a lot now, Tauret. I used to hear about our country fighting Egypt and the men and women lost, but I never saw it until now. I'm not so blind any more." Aida sat down, leaning her back against a tree. Her sister joined her a moment later. For a moment, there was just silence and the sounds of her country echoing in her ears. Aida let her eyes close and her body relaxed. She hadn't realized how much she missed this. Harvesting the crop. Laughing with her friends. Simply talking with her sister.   
Tauret laid down on her back. "No, no, it's more than that. I've seen you when you get scared of something, Aida, and this isn't like that. It's more like…you're sad."   
"Sad?" Aida wondered. "Maybe I am…"   
"Princess Tauret!" yelled a messenger. Both princesses looked up to see the messenger walking towards them. "Your father requests your presence."   
Aida turned to her sister. "I'd better get back to the harvesting," Aida said. "Seems like you're wanted."   
Tauret kissed her on the cheek as she got to her feet. "I'll see you tonight. Gods walk with you, Aida."   
"You too," Aida responded as her sister left her.   
For long minutes after, she stayed in her position and just watched the clouds pass overhead. Isis, why did she feel so terrible now?   
I made the right decision in the end, Aida thought. I didn't betray our people. I fell in love, but I got back on my feet. No one got hurt-   
Aida had to hold back the word Nehebka in her mind. What she was feeling was more than that particular guilt. Less harsh, but just as heavy. No, excluding what hadn't been in her control, she had done the right thing in the end.   
So why do I feel so guilty? Aida wondered. She sat under the tree for several more minutes, trying to forget the familiar face still fresh in her mind.   
  
(Sorry this took so long. I had trouble getting it out. When I finally started to make some progress, 9/11 happened, and I got thrown back by about a week. Thank God no one I knew was hurt, but I'm still in a lot of shock. This part is dedicated to all those who lost people they love and all those who are trying to make things better. 

Feedback is good, even bad feedback. Please review. I'll uh...give you a cookie. 

The next part will be up in about a week. I'm mostly done with it (need to add a scene and send it off to the beta), so it won't take nearly as long. God bless America. 

Oh, and go out and support Broadway. Particularly Rent, Les Mis, Phantom, and Chicago). 


	5. One More Longing Backward Glance: Sky of...

Part V: One More Longing Backwards Glance: Sky of Stars/Dream 

Disclaimer: Aida and all its characters (with the exception of Tauret, whom I created) belong to Elton John, Disney, Hyperion Theatricals, etc. 

Author's notes at end 

Aida couldn't sleep that night. She blamed it on the moon; full moon nights had never been good luck for her. Dear Isis, too bright for a person to sleep. 

It was strange, though. She had woken early that morning, and had worked hard the entire day. She had even excused herself early from the court to spend some time by herself, but all that had led to was lying in bed for several hours. Eventually Tauret came in, and Aida was forced to shut her eyes and feign sleep. But even after another hour, she still lay restlessly until the last lights in Kaitah had been blown out. 

Finally, she gave up. Donning a simple robe and slipping on a pair of sandals, she creaked open the door. 

"Aida?" Tauret's muffled voice asked. 

"I'm just going for a walk," Aida reassured her sister. 

Tauret rolled over to her side and opened her eyes. She had been trained in stealth just as much as Aida had, but sometimes when her sister became wrapped in her studies Aida forgot how acute Tauret's senses were. "Promise me you won't wander too far." 

"I won't," Aida promised, thinking guiltily about her plans to see the downstream Nile again. 

"I mean it, Aida," Tauret mumbled. "I can't lose you again." 

"You worry too much," Aida laughed. Tauret let out a sigh, rolled over again, and closed her eyes. 

When she had exited her family's hut, Aida immediately regretted her conversation with her sister. For one, she was probably right. It wasn't safe. But since Aida's common sense never seemed to do her much good lately, Tauret had laid out the next, more effective level: guilt. Well, it was probably better. 

Aida crossed her arms against her chest and slowed down her pace. She was going nowhere, so there was no rush. How pointless, Aida thought. 

After a while, she reached the last hut of the village. Only a few feet away was one of her favorite trees. Technically, she wouldn't be leaving the village. For a moment she was conscious of the dirt that would get on her robe, but quickly let go of the concern. For the first time since she had returned home, she was truly alone. It felt surprisingly good. 

Aida glanced back at her family's hut. "Hut" was a poor word to describe it, for it was the biggest building in Kaitah and the best made. The courtyard made it even bigger. Even still, for royalty, they lived like normal people. Unlike Egypt, where Amneris had an entire wing of the palace to herself, Aida had to share a room with her sister. Her father insisted that she work as well as study so that she would know her people, even if she was worshipped by them. True, there were some handmaidens and servants in the palace, but there few enough that Aida knew them like the rest of her family. 

She wasn't ready to go to sleep yet, even if she knew she'd pay for it with her exhaustion tomorrow. She turned away from the hut, so meager in comparison to Amneris' palace. 

Amneris. Unlike other words, this one had no immediate reaction in her mind. She just allowed herself to think it. No, that wasn't right, she was Egyptian. When they plundered Nubian villages and stole holy objects, Amneris used them for jewelry. Aida had never seen her cry a single tear for her people's blood. She was Egyptian. So why don't I feel such hatred for her? Aida wondered. She was royalty, even more connected to the throne that had plundered her people than Radames. 

Aida shook her head. No, Amneris was innocent, somehow. She had nothing to do with this. She was just a scared and lonely girl caught up in a whirlwind. Amneris was more like her than even the Nubians. She knew what it was like to have to be a goddess, and how it was so hard to know the difference between idolization and love. Aida smiled sadly. She'd wanted to tell Amneris the truth so many times, even before everything began to go wrong. If they'd just had the opportunity to talk... 

She sighed angrily. Right, of course, so we could help each other with love. I took even that away from her. Gods, she could only hope Amneris would never find out. She knew she could never return to Egypt if just because she couldn't face her friend. 

Aida was vaguely aware of a sound nearby. Just your imagination, she told herself. 

No, a branch had definitely moved. She swallowed her fear, trying to remember Tauret's advice to stay rational in times like these. Her only advantage now might be not showing that she was aware of an intruder's presence. She moved her hand slowly down her side until it grasped her knife. It wouldn't work as well as a sword, but it would have to do. 

Silently, she stepped a few paces away and crouched down to her knees. Yes, she could someone in the distance. It's just a sentry, she told herself. They need to be quiet too. No, that was close to what she had said that day by the river when the men who just looked like sailors turned out to be soldiers. 

Aida couldn't see the figure's face, but he or she definitely was not a sentry. Sentries always wore dark colors, unlike the brighter shades that the stranger wore. 

Bright colors. Egyptian colors. Aida's heart rose for a moment before sinking back down into fear. No, the hair was dark, unlike Radames' blond locks. She cautiously took a couple of steps forward. Gods, this could be an entire army waiting to ambush them. 

She was only a few feet away, and still unable to see the face. Do it now, she told herself. Taking a deep breath, Aida sprang up to attack the figure. She managed to get her elbow and the knife around his neck, but he was struggling. Moonlight fell on his face. 

"Aieeee!" yelled Mereb. "Gods, what are you doing?" 

Aida stared down at Mereb dumbfounded. "You're to tell me you're not an intruder?" she asked. 

Mereb was shaking as he got to his feet. "As far as I know, Princess." 

"But...those colors are..." 

"The only clothes I have at the moment," Mereb reminded her. 

Aida let out a sigh as she returned the knife to her belt. A grin crept up her face. "I'm sorry. So I guess I don't have to murder you after all. And it's Aida." 

"Ah, but we're back in Nubia," Mereb answered, easing noticeably. "That would be impolite. I do know some protocol, Princess." 

"Aida," she insisted again. "Please, Mereb, I need someone to treat me like a person." 

"But I-" Mereb started. 

Aida placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please. I need you as my friend more than I need you to be polite." 

Mereb nodded. "Of course...Aida. So what are you doing outside so late? I thought you were tired tonight." 

Aida shrugged, bringing her hand back to her side. "I was," she lied. "But I awoke not too long ago and haven't been able to sleep since. I figured any other sane person would be asleep. And yourself?" 

Mereb was staring intently at the stars now. "I couldn't sleep. Can you see the Torch of Kaifen?" he asked. 

Aida nodded. "That's my favorite star." 

Mereb laughed. "It might sound foolish, but I didn't think it existed here. It's supposed to guide you home..." He shrugged his shoulders. "And here I am." 

"The stars are strange things," Aida reminded him. "My mother told me that even the gods can't control them." How long ago had it been since she had looked at the stars? Aida wondered. No, don't think of the memories, don't think, that's over- 

"It's...hard, you know," Mereb suddenly said. 

"What is?" Aida asked, interrupted from her daze. 

"Being here," Mereb replied. Aida gave him a questioning look. "I'm not complaining, Aida. Gods, this is the best thing that happened to me." 

"But then...?" Aida asked. 

"That's part of it, though. Ever since I was captured, this is all I've ever wanted. But never in my wildest dreams did I think it would actually happen. And...now it has, and I'm here." 

"Then what's the use of complaining?" Aida asked with a grin. "The gods aren't known to smile on those who whine." 

"Because now I have to deal with being here. I've always been Nubian, but I don't know this place at all. Everyone seems to remember the time I ran off with an entire sack of wheat, or how my father was a great warrior, but I hardly recognize anything. And they all tell me about how my father wanted me to be a scholar so badly-Aida, did you know I can't read?" 

She shook her head. Somehow, she had never thought about it. She herself had studied the writings of several cultures, as had many of her countrymen. But that never came until a later age, and Mereb had been kidnapped when he was so young... "No." 

"They didn't exactly teach Nubian in Egypt. I've met with some of my childhood friends who know so much or can fight so well, but I know I can never be as great as them-" 

"Yes you can," Aida insisted, taking his hand. "You're Mereb...of course you can." 

Her friend shook his head. "Everything is fine right now, and they're all still overjoyed to see Nekhen's Son, but what happens when they get used to me and I just become Mereb? What is there for me, Aida?" He pulled his hand away. 

Her expression turned bitter. "The boat we sailed in is still here. If you'd like, we can go northward. I'm sure that slaves are still in demand." 

Mereb stood still, taking in her words. Gods, Aida thought. He really does believe it. Her expression softened. She had spent not much more than a week as a slave, and doing much easier work than that of her countrymen in the copper mines. But even in that amount of time she could remember the way it felt to always be told that you were nothing. Gods, after a while, a person could even begin to believe it. No wonder Mereb was so loyal, Aida realized. Nubia was all he had left. 

"But you really shouldn't," she said. "Knowledge can always be learned, but physical things can't be replaced. Nubia would lose something invaluable." 

"The boat?" Mereb asked. Aida stared at him. He couldn't be serious-all at once, he cracked a smile. He bent over in laughter. Soon after, Aida joined him, and eventually they both fell to the ground, sprawled out underneath the stars. See? she told herself. It had been worth it, if just to see that goofy grin on his face. 

"I just want something that's mine," Mereb said once he had begun to recover. He was still reeling with the aftershocks of laughter, but Aida knew he had become serious again. "And I don't just mean possessions, although the pomegranates here are amazing." 

"What, then?" Aida asked, turning her head so she could see his face. 

Mereb shrugged. "Something, I guess." He shook his head and got back onto his feet. "I'm going to try to sleep, Aida. Thank you." 

"Sweet dreams, Mereb," Aida called out from the ground. She had to admit, she felt a lot better now. Gods, what would her life be without him? 

This would be so much easier, Aida thought with a sigh. Mereb was kind, and a good man. She could honestly say that she loved him. With his new status as a noble, it would permissible, and good for both of their families. But life was never easy. 

Aida's gaze returned to the sky until she too found the Torch of Kaifen. She hadn't thought about it when Mereb said the words, but the Torch of Kaifen would always be there. Not just as a star, but as a guide. Because no matter how close you got to what you wanted, there was always a place, a person that was closer to home. 

Aida sat up slightly to stretch an itch on her arms. A sensation moved across her neck, gliding slowly downwards. Aida put a hand to a neck, before realizing it was gone. The amulet. Radames' amulet. Egyptian. Panicked, she felt her hands quickly all over her neck. Gone, gone gone... 

She jumped to her feet, giving out a small cry of fear as she did so. What if someone else found it, what if someone saw-? 

Aida spared a quick look towards Kaitah. No one was awake, of course, and the sentries would be patrolling far away from here. Even if broad daylight, no one would notice the amulet in the grasses, it was brownish in color and would blend in with the autumn plain, it had to, it had to- 

Calm down! The rational side of her mind ordered. The feeling around her neck must have been the amulet falling off. It couldn't be more than a few feet away. Aida knelt down to the ground. There were no tears, but her breathing had become heavy. Where was it? What would she do if someone found it? What would she do if she couldn't find it again? 

She would have sacrificed her soul at that moment for a torch. No if she returned to the hut for one, she'd lose her position, and she'd attract attention. Where was it where was it where was it? She moved her arm in frantic circles in the grass, oh gods, where was it- 

Something sharp hit the middle section of her arm. Aida's breathing slowed as she reached a trembling hand to that section of grass. The edges of the object felt familiar, it had to be it, it had to- 

Aida held the Eye of Horus up into the moonlight. Yes, thank the gods, yes. She allowed herself a moment to catch her breath. She hadn't actually seen the amulet for so long, with it always being tucked under her dress. Now it was as if she was looking at it for the first time. 

She was suddenly aware that someone could be watching. They wouldn't be able to see what she was holding from a distance, much less its origins, but there was a sense of danger nonetheless. 

The clasp must have come undone, Aida realized. She took an end in each hand brought the chain around her neck and brought the ends together. She moved a hand to tuck it in under her dress again. 

Aida shook her head, feeling silly. Tauret's right, I have changed, she thought. I never used to be this impulsive. She sat down again, leaning against the tree. Now that the adrenaline had left her body, she was beginning to feel tired. 

I'll just close my eyes for a moment... she thought. 

Sleep consumed her in seconds. 

**** 

A strange mist surrounded the first cataract. Aida breathed in the smell of the fog. It was so beautiful here, just like he said it would be... 

The boat she was in was small, much like the one she had sailed in just a few weeks ago. But instead of the constant panic and stress of her escape, calm filled her heart here. 

"I told you it would be beautiful," Radames said from the opposite side of the boat. Aida looked towards his direction. He was staring wistfully out at the countryside. 

It took her a moment to shake her surprise. "I guess I should have known that I would see you here," she mumbled under her breath. Gods, he looked just the same. 

Radames shrugged. "But of course. You can't escape me so easily, Aida." He leaned in and brushed his fingers through her hair. Normally his touch was comforting, joyous, but now she could feel tension in his touch and traces of anger in his voice. He nocked his head towards her ear and whispered. "I can't escape you." 

Aida pulled back. "This is a dream," she told herself. "You're not here, you're hundreds of miles-" 

"I know," Radames interrupted. "But that doesn't change anything. You're," he placed emphasis on the first word. "-still here. And you're not waking up, are you?" 

Just a dream, Aida reassured herself. Just a dream. The sky was getting darker as a cloud moved across the sun. Aida stopped the motion of the boat by clinging to a nearby branch. Beyond the trees, she could hear her countrymen working, her parents and sister conversing. Just another day for them. "I'm sorry, Radames," she said quietly. "I did what I had to do. Do you think it was easy for me?" 

He raised an eyebrow. "You left quickly enough, so most likely, yes. You lied to me." He took her hand, helping her to get out of the boat. She tried to break lose, but his grasp was amazingly strong. Another pull, and she was on the shore. Her people's voices sounded so close, but they were nowhere in sight. If she screamed, would anyone hear? 

"Why?" Radames asked again, now gripping her remaining arm with his other hand. "Why?!" 

"I didn't have any other choice!" Aida exclaimed. 

"You were the one who told me that there's always a choice, Aida. All this means is that you're a coward. You betrayed me." 

His grip on her tightened until it became painful. Chest heaving, Aida tried to break away again, but there was no escape. His muted traveler's clothes that he had worn on their last night transformed into the harsh red of his army uniform. "Get off of me, Egyptian," she warned. 

He raised his eyebrows. "Egyptian, yes. But why so upset?" he asked in a mocking voice. "So afraid to tell your people that you were seduced by the enemy?" 

Tears were clouding her eyes, starting to fall- 

"Well here's a little secret, my love-that wasn't how it worked. You came on your own. And that's the real problem. You can't just go back to being Princess Aida now, can you?" 

"I am," she retorted defiantly. "You were a mistake, and mistakes can be undone. I'm past you." Smiling cruelly, Radames raised the Eye of Horus from underneath her dress. 

"Don't, someone will see!" Aida screamed. Radames released his hold on the amulet and let it fall against her chest. Aida cried out in pain. The metal was amazingly hot. She tried to move either one of her hands to get it off of her, but Radames still held them tight. 

"That's the real reason why nothing feels right any more. Tauret is right, my dear, you have changed. Your father already knows it. It's just going to be a matter of time before the rest of them figure out that you're not the Aida that's so precious to them." 

The pain on her chest was becoming unbearable. Gods, why couldn't she move? Radames released a hand. He placed his fingers against the burning amulet and pressed it into her skin. She screamed again. 

"You think this is pain?" he asked angrily. "You have no idea what pain is. You don't feel anything, Aida that's the problem. You think you're so passionate about what you do? It's just whatever is convenient, and then you move on." 

"No, I...I...no..." 

"You loved me?" Radames whispered in her ear. "Why are you so afraid to say it?" He turned his head towards the direction of the Nubian field. "Look what I have here!" he yelled. "A traitor!" People were beginning to appear from behind the trees, were coming closer- 

Oh no, what if someone saw? With her free hand, Aida grabbed the amulet's chain. She yelled out in pain again. With her touch, the amulet got even hotter. The burning spread to the chain as well. She immediately reeled back her hand. 

"Interesting piece of jewelry," Mereb said angrily, coming into view. "Traitor." 

"I knew you had changed," said Tauret. 

"Traitor!" 

"Traitor!" 

"You're no daughter of mine..." whispered her father. 

"No!" Aida screamed. She dropped to her knees. Radames bent down with her, not stopping the pressure on the amulet. "It's not true, it's not real!" she cried out. "I'm not doing it any more, so what does it matter?" She smiled desperately. "I feel nothing for him any more, I'm your princess! I'm your Aida!" 

Radames pressed the amulet harder into her skin. Soon she would lose consciousness-no; this was a dream, she couldn't- Isis let me wake up, she begged. 

"Traitor!" yelled her mother. 

"It doesn't go away..." Radames taunted. 

Everything was starting to become blurry. If she couldn't lose consciousness, then what would happen when it became too much to bear? She'd heard of people whose nightmares were so real that they inflicted the imaginary pain upon themselves...oh gods, this was the end- 

Without warning, Radames gave out a moan of pain and let go of her arm. The amulet dropped, shattering on the ground. The voices of the Nubians slowly disappeared, until they were a whisper, then completely gone. All that was left was herself and Radames. His eyes became deathly pale. "Why...?" he asked, before falling to the ground, a knife in his back. Aida looked up at her rescuer, pulling the knife out of Radames' back. 

Another Radames smiled sadly, looking down at first at Aida and then his double. He was dressed in simple commoner clothes. "I don't have much honor, but torturing an innocent woman is beyond even me. At least I thought." 

Aida looked down at the broken amulet. Finally, her tears had stopped. "I'm...sorry, I know you liked it." 

Radames shrugged. "It's just jewelry." He offered a hand, which Aida soon accepted. 

"I never liked dreams," she admitted. 

"Neither do I." The anger that was in his double's eyes wasn't present in this Radames, but the hurt was still there. 

"Thank you," Aida said after a moment. This Radames wasn't real either, but there was something closer to the truth here. 

Sighing, Radames wrapped his arms around her from the back. His touch was soft now and comforting. Aida breathed in his smell-slowly at first, and then taking it in. So good... 

"I didn't want it to be this way," she whispered, leaning back against him. "I wish you could know that." Sunlight began to screen through the cracks in the clouds. 

He gave no response. Aida turned around, looking into his eyes for a moment. The sadness embedded in them wouldn't disappear. She ran a hand over his face. Radames clasped it under his own gently. 

Finally, Radames leaned in to kiss her. Surprisingly, she found no resistance from inside herself. Tears threatened to spring into her eyes as their mouths met. How could she have forgotten what it felt like? Radames lifted a hand up towards her face, caressing her cheek. 

Aida opened her mouth to speak. "I lov-" 

**** 

No! Aida thought as the dream escaped her. She was back, and he was gone. Gone, gone, gone, with nothing but the cold night to welcome her back into reality. Finally, she allowed herself to cry. Long, hot, tears sprawled down her face. "No..." she whispered. She had been so close again, and now- 

Somehow, she managed to make her way back to her own quarters. The stars held no comfort for her now. When Aida slid into bed she turned on her side, so that Tauret wouldn't hear her sobbing. "No, no, no..." 

Gods, her mind was crueler than she thought. She had been so close. It hadn't been real, but somehow her body felt like it had just left his embrace. She hadn't allowed herself to think about it, to think about him for so long now. Something within her had felt so complete a moment ago, and now it was gone. It wasn't right, but she wanted it back so badly... 

"I..." she whispered, trying to remember the warmth. "I...love you." 

Aida froze as soon as she said the words, as if they hadn't come from her own mouth. She hadn't meant to think them, let alone say them, but they came out of her none the less. And...they weren't a lie, either. 

There was only silence in her room. She expected something to happen, whether for Isis to come down from the Heavens and slay her on the spot, or for a contingent of guards to burst into the room screaming "Traitor!", or for her heart to burst open. 

But nothing happened. Aida's tears stopped with new realization. "I love you," she repeated again. 

So nothing had changed after all. She was still in love. 

**** 

Sorry this took so long (my computer caught a virus, and I didn't get any work done for a while). Please please please please please review...thoughts and criticism are really appreciated and help me to move along. I'll umm...give you a cookie. Actually, I can't, because I just ate the last cookie, but I do have ice cream. So um...I'll give you ice cream. Please review! 

One more section of One More Longing Backwards Glance (which was originally all one chapter, but I decided to spread it out), and then onto what Radames and Amneris are doing. 


	6. Fortune Favors the Free: Another Pyramid

Fortune Favors the Free: Another Pyramid  
  
Disclaimer: With the exception of Tauret, all of the characters belong to Disney, Hyperion Theatricals, etc.  
  
It wasn't supposed to happen this way, Radames mused wistfully. How had everything become so distorted?  
  
A servant stepped into his private office, disrupting his thoughts. "More wine, your majesty?" the boy asked. He looked only about fourteen or fifteen, possibly the youngest of his private servants. He always seemed nervous, yet eager to please.  
  
"No thank you, I need to remain sober enough to finish this," Radames answered. On second thought, Radames thought, maybe I should try to be as drunk as possible. After all, the actual document was finished. It lay there on his desk, just a simple, perfectly harmless piece of paper. All that was left was for him to sign it, bringing the order to life.  
  
That was the hard part. But still, he felt guilty about having as much wine as he already drank. If he was going to do this, he might as well feel all the pain. It's what I deserve, Radames thought.  
  
"As you wish, your majesty," the boy stammered.  
  
"Nojen?" Radames called. The boy turned around almost instantaneously. "You've been looking at Minister Ralen's daughter, haven't you?"  
  
The boy turned bright red. "Of course not, your majesty," he half mumbled, half stammered. "I believe she's engaged to one of the noble's son and-"  
  
Radames threw his goblet to the ground. The expensive crystal shattered. He laughed, insanity creeping into his voice. "That's right. Trust me, it's a bad idea to even start. She'll betray you."  
  
"I promise that I won't look at her any more, your Majestry, I-"  
  
"But you will," Radames insisted, playing with the edge of his quill. "And you won't even know what's happening until it's too late."  
  
The boy looked confused, even horrified.  
  
"Get the hell out of here," Radames snapped.  
  
"The glass?" Nojen asked.  
  
"For gods sakes I'm capable of cleaning up my own messes." He picked up a small trinket and hurled it against the wall of the office. It too quickly shattered. By the time Radames looked up again, Nojen had already left.  
  
Radames looked down again at the broken goblet. It was a shame, because there might be a few more drops of wine left. And he shouldn't have yelled at the boy. If this was anyone's fault, it wasn't a child's. He'd have to promote him or somehow make sure that his masters treated him with more respect. He'd feel better if he could apologize, but The Pharaoh never could.  
  
How did I get like this? Radames wondered.  
  
Nothing is an accident…we are free to have it all…  
  
Nothing will happen if I just walk away, Radames thought. Nothing was supposed to happen. In the eyes of the court, Pharaoh Radames would simply be backing down from attacking Nubia, as he had similarly suggested earlier that week not starting up the Babylon campaign. The pacifism unusual for a Pharaoh who was a former soldier, but considering the hardships the country was going through, it was reasonable.  
  
I have to do this, Radames thought. He twisted the quill through his fingers. No, I don't, he thought back. He had spent at least an hour now trapped between those too painfully simple thoughts.  
  
It wasn't supposed to work this way. He had lost Aida, but that sacrifice was supposed to have finally brought peace.  
  
Aida is nothing, the rational part of his mind told him. Just a silly woman who was smart enough to fool an Egyptian, but that was all.  
  
Hell, this argument was pointless now. It would all be over very soon. Aida would be over very soon.  
  
Radames sighed, picking up the quill once more. How the hell did this happen, anyway?  
  
  
  
***************  
  
Some time before…  
  
"Do you have any suggestions, Prime Minister?" Radames asked, looking across the Council Table at his father. The map of Babylonia stared at him as ominously as it had at the beginning of the meeting. Three hours of discussion, and still there had been no answer as to what to do with the troops in that area.  
  
Zoser sighed. "If we don't do anything, then the Babylonians will eventually retaliate and all of the work we've done for the last three years will go to waste. It's as simple as that."  
  
Radames clenched his teeth slightly to prevent himself from snapping. Three hours was starting to become a very, very, very long time. "Does the rest of the council have any other suggestions?" There was a slight emphasis on the word "other."  
  
"I agree with your father," said Minister Traken.  
  
There are some quite beautiful women there you'd love to get your hands on, aren't there? Radames thought to himself. He'd seen the previous conquests (or rather had glimpsed them-both Zoser and Traken seemed to have a way of hiding the particularly good looking ones quickly).  
  
"I still say that we don't have the resources to begin the campaign yet," Radames sighed. "Either way nothing good can come of this. We can either waste whatever resources we have in a pointless campaign or we can try to save them and attack later."  
  
A minister on the opposite side of the table whose name Radames couldn't remember whispered into the ear of Minister Ralen. If he kept going like this he would find himself being overruled by the ministers, never a good situation. Press this too hard, and he would find himself in a political bind.  
  
It was true Egypt didn't have the resources to attack anywhere at the moment. There had been slave revolts in several of the provinces. How could they fight a war if labor stopped?  
  
Try as he might, Radames could never completely become a politician in these meetings. He would always return to being a general, and even the daring Captain Radames knew his limits.  
  
But at least they hadn't brought Nubia yet this month. His heart shuttered, and unwilling emotions started to spring to the top. He could stop slaughter in Babylon, but how long could he protect Nubia for?  
  
And when it did become an issue, could he stop himself from continuing the fight?  
  
*************  
  
Thank the gods that was over with, Radames thought to himself as he made his way towards the palace grounds. He had come close several times to simply walking out.  
  
No, Radames thought. He sighed, feeling even more embarrassed even for thinking those things. He was the Pharaoh now, by the gods. He loved Egypt, now more than ever. And if he didn't start acting like the Pharaoh, it would be Egypt that suffered.  
  
Someone was walking beside him. "If I were anyone else I would be surprised that you were in the army six months ago instead of buried in the library with the scribes." Zoser looked less than happy.  
  
"We can't afford to be open, not if Nubia is going to attack," Radames answered curtly, not even looking at his father. "Besides, we have other campaigns right now that look more promising, if you haven't forgotten."  
  
Radames and his father had existed in this awkwardness for months now, ever since their confrontation. Despite the fact that he had pushed his son to be in the army at an early age, Zoser had resented how great a fighter Radames had become. The now prime minister had spent most of his life in politics and had never served. And Radames was much younger, as well. But despite these facts, Zoser hadn't yet given up the resentment of being pushed to the ground by his own son.  
  
A wall had been knocked down that day. Radames had tried so hard previously to tell himself that he loved his father, and that Zoser loved his son in return. Of course, Zoser had never tried to hide his various women from Radames, even when his mother was still alive. Yet they never confronted each other about it, not even the day when his mother stumbled into the court for her last time with her wrists bleeding. Radames never knew how much he resented his father until those words left his mouth that day.  
  
'Radames, you can have your little diversion, but wait until you are wed.'  
  
'Like you did.'  
  
'Your mother never had any complaints.'  
  
'She never had any choice!'  
  
Gods, it had felt so good to finally let it out…  
  
Radames himself felt embarrassed. He was so sure that day that he was going to change everything, and that for the first time in twenty three years he was going to have control over his own life. He had never believed in anything more than he had believed in Aida then.  
  
The meeting after the Nubian king and Aida's escape was one of the worst days in his life. His father was throwing curses around along with every other noble present, but Radames would never forget that sinister smile his father gave him when their eyes met. I told you so, it said.  
  
Privately Radames wished to have nothing to do with his father any more. Unfortunately for them both, their positions had to be filled, and the rest of the court expected them to be on good terms.  
  
"You've turned into a coward, Radames," Zoser said, turning his son's attention back to the present. The use of his first name stung like a sharp edge. Amneris hardly even used it any more.  
  
"And you're still a corrupt politician," Radames answered back. Finally, he had reached the palace's gates. "Good day, Prime Minister."  
  
**************  
  
The pyramid had finally been completed, and The Pharaoh's body was almost done being prepared. Yet despite the fact that the former ruler's body was not yet there, Radames still felt a connection whenever saw the burial site.  
  
At least there was a clear view of the Nile from the top of the palace's wall. Near the shores, Radames could see children playing or helping their parents along the edge. He singled out a boy and a girl. From this distance, they could have easily been himself and Amneris. And that man over there, the one who looked richly adorned, could have been the Pharaoh, ready to throw both children into the river. That thought made Radames chuckle.  
  
Gods, when did I get so old? he found himself wondering. It didn't seem that far away, when Amneris' father was still young, still lively, still alive…  
  
Radames still thought of him as "the Pharaoh" in his mind. But now he himself held that title. None of it seemed real. "The Pharaoh" was supposed to be wise, and more importantly, know how to rule Egypt. Radames always felt out of place when he wore the crown. He was always clean now, but he felt as dirty as the last time he had returned from battle.  
  
Someone was nearby. Radames realized with embarrassment that Amneris was standing not too far away on the right side of the wall (he himself was on the front side), she herself gazing out towards the Nile. He didn't have a complete view of her face, but he could tell nonetheless that she had been crying. Of course she would be here, Radames thought. If he was still feeling the pain of the Pharaoh's death, then she would be even more so.  
  
It was too bad that she didn't seem to be too close to any of her women, because Radames knew how badly his wife needed emotional support in the last few months. On the outside, she was enjoying her new position as queen. Some new seamstress from one of the southern countries had recently come to visit and Amneris was flaunting all of her new fashions. Well, if they could be described that way.  
  
Yet after she left her court, Radames could physically see the excitement drain from her face. She never let her expressions give way to sadness, not in front of him at least. But the still calm on her face broke his heart.  
  
It was no use trying to get through to her. After their argument the night the Pharaoh died, they had given up even squabbling. He always took the floor, she always the bed. The maids were starting to wonder why one always went into the other room to change clothing, so they finally agreed to undress in the same room. It was assumed that both would look the other way.  
  
Maybe it's better than having her fighting all the time, Radames thought. But still, would this go on for all of their lives? If anything they would have to eventually produce a royal heir.  
  
Wonderful, Radames, just use her that way, he thought to himself. Yet it was true. Whenever it came to Amneris, he always had these arguments with himself.  
  
And now she had seen him. A few months ago he might have tried to confront her, even comfort her, but now…  
  
Amneris' eyes met his own. No expression, no pain, nothing. Tears still rolled down her face, but they were as cold as the whiteness of her skin. Without saying another word, she turned around and left.  
  
***************  
  
Amneris usually took half an hour to prepare herself for bed. Radames had started to memorize her habits. He had a feeling that Amneris had done the same for him, because somehow they were both careful to meet as little as possible.  
  
Radames slumped against the wall of the royal corridor. Would anyone really notice if he fell asleep right here? It seemed tempting. He didn't want to enter until he knew his wife was asleep.  
  
He noticed that the door to the old Pharaoh's sickroom was ajar. He peered inside. So finally, they had cleared out the old furnishings (with the exception of the bed itself). Without them, it could have almost been a normal room, but Radames had too many memories of sickness and death in each inch of the floor. It wasn't just because of reasons of disease contamination that he had requested that he and Amneris take their quarters elsewhere.  
  
His legs ached with exhaustion, and it would still be another twenty minutes before he could even try to see if Amneris was asleep. He touched the bed unwillingly at first, and then found himself lying down upon it. Sleep consumed him moments later.  
  
When Radames woke the stars were high in the night's sky. His clothes pressed uncomfortably against his skin, obviously not made for sleeping. He might as well return to his own quarters.  
  
Something cracked against his left boot when he stepped down from the bed. Groggily Radames searched the floor until he found a small trinket no larger than his fist. He recognized the symbol as being Grecian. Of course, it must have belonged to the doctor. The old man was still at court to stay on as his own physician. With any luck Radames wouldn't be on his deathbed any time soon.  
  
Radames had never been able to journey that far to the north, but he had heard fascinating stories about the Greeks. He wished that the doctor's accent wasn't to heavy or he could have probably gotten some more tales out of him.  
  
Radames traced the design on the trinket. It opened with a snap. Startled, Radames almost dropped it to the floor, but somehow he kept it in his hand. Inside, there was a small packet of white powder.  
  
Arsenic.  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Yes, I really am alive! I didn't notice how long it's been since I've updated this 'fic, but I'm back. In order to get some progress done I decided to skip ahead to Radames' part (from now on Aida and Radames' parts will parallel each other, with some stuff about Amneris thrown in the middle).  
  
Next up is the next part of Whispers, then another chapter of this. I really hope it won't take this long. Thanks to Allison, my beta reader, and to the reviewer who offered me a cookie. Still haven't decided if I want the cookie or if I want to be added to the list ^_^  
  
I really love feedback, so please review! (positive and negative, please give me constructive criticism!) And more importantly, it inspires me to get off my butt and write… 


	7. ...And it Haunts Me

Part VII: …And It Haunts Me 

The past. 

"And who is this?" Amneris asked impatiently. The sun was bright outside and she was anxious to go out and play. She recognized the pale man in the black robes, but she had never seen the little boy before. His eyes were as blue as her own. She guessed his hair was blond, but it was hard to tell in the light.   
"Amneris!" her father scolded from his throne. "That's no way to speak to our Prime Minister and his family. Radames, could introduce you yourself to my daughter?"   
Unaffected by her temperament, the boy walked over to Amneris' seat. He stopped and bowed to her. On his way towards her she caught a slight look of mocking spite in his eyes. "I am Radames, son of Zoser, Princess," he said.   
"Well, that's nice," Amneris mumbled. "Can I leave now?"   
"Radames, why don't you and Amneris go outside and play a little?" Zoser suggested. "I have some important things I must talk about with the Pharaoh."   
She nodded, nearly flying from her seat in happiness. Amneris usually thought that Zoser was boring, but now she began to like him a little more. Anything to get out of the dry, hot courtroom. Aagh, but the boy-er, Radames, had that stupid arrogant walk again. Hmm, well, if he was going to act like a noble, then she was going to act like a princess. No one showed up Amneris of Egypt.   
"So, this is Cairo?" Radames asked once they were outside and in the courtyard.   
"Uh huh," Amneris said. "Have you ever been here before?"   
"Not yet," Radames said. "Father always said I was too young until this time-this trip I mean. Me and him and my mom are moving out here, since the Pharaoh needs Father. He says I'm going to be a soldier one day."   
She smirked. Yeah, and I'm going to be the Pharaoh. Don't try to brag.   
Amneris pointed to the pyramid before them. "My mama's under there," she said.   
"She lives under there?" Radames asked.   
Amneris sighed. "No, silly, she's passed on and is in the realm of the gods. Once the tombs are sealed they can't be open again. Hey…you wanna go down there?"   
"I bet I can get there faster than you," Radames said, raising an eyebrow.   
"Really?" Amneris asked, annoyed.   
Radames rolled his eyes. "You're a girl. Of course I can."   
Amneris sniffed. "I'm the princess of Egypt."   
Radames stopped and looked at the ground. Without warning, he looked up. "Ready set go!" he yelled.   
"Hey, wait!" Amneris yelled, but Radames was already off at full force. I'll show him, she thought to herself. She took a deep breath and took off after him.   
For a seven-year old, Amneris was remarkably fast. Her father would always laugh and say that she had gotten from him   
She was now only a couple of feet behind Radames as they approached the hill by the pyramids. It took all her control to stop herself from laughing at the surprised look on his face. But now Radames was running even faster. The determined look on his face was ridiculous, and she guessed the one on her own was the same.   
She couldn't stop herself from laughing now, to the point that she was having difficulty standing up. Radames was obviously having the same problem. Finally, Radames fell to the ground at the bottom of the hill. He looked almost as exhausted as she was.   
Amneris fell a second later. "Win!" she yelled, touching the ground in front of him.   
"Not fair," Radames protested. "I got here first."   
"But I touched it first," Amneris countered.   
Radames was silent for a moment, as if he was pondering the situation. "Okay, rematch."   
"To where?" Amneris asked.   
"The Nile bank," Radames said. "You ready?" He got to his feet, and Amneris followed suit.   
"You bet. Ready set go!"   
"Hey-that's not fair!" Amneris let out a wide grin at the dismayed tone of his voice.   
This kid didn't know his manners. But he treated her like a person, not Amneris the Princess. And as much as she liked respect and liked to tell people about it, she sometimes got sick of none of the adults telling her stories because it was improper. And at least Radames liked to run.   
It might be good to have a friend. 

Present.   
  
Amneris was grateful to wake to find her bed empty. She lay still for a moment, adjusting to the sounds of the new day. Silence. Thank the gods for her silence.   
Radames wasn't a particularly noisy person, but the lack of dialogue between them left holes in the places her ears shouldn't have picked up sound. The sound as Radames' foot accidentally knocked against the one corner of the room where he could stand and change clothes without them seeing each other. The sound of her jewelry clinking against her body. The creak of the door as Radames left in the morning. She had never even noticed the sounds before, but now they drove her closer to insanity each time they blared.   
But these few moments were her favorite of the day, the ones she had now. She always made it a point to drink a glass of wine before going to bed so that she would sleep late. True, the sounds of Radames waking up usually woke her up for a few minutes of misery, but then there was this peace afterwards.   
Amneris liked to pretend that there wasn't anything else in the world except for her room. When no one was around, she could even move Radames' things under the bed so that the room left no evidence of him. Then she could forget everything. Sometimes she even liked to pretend that she was still a little girl who didn't care how she looked and just wanted to try to climb the pyramids. She would plan her day like that.   
Eventually it always ended. A maid would come in to give her breakfast or a guard would mumble something to his comrade as he walked past the door. And then she would be the Queen again, and her world would shatter. She would fall back down into that hole of confusion and despair, and no matter how hard she clung to the edges of the top she would keep falling. Never stop falling.   
And yet Amneris wondered if she would fall forever. Lately she felt less pain. Not happiness, and not consolation, but less pain. Just a dull murmur in its place.   
And maybe there'd come the day when she wouldn't feel anything. Amneris didn't know if that was her goal or greatest fear. 

The next morning. 

Amneris' head was throbbing. Ever since yesterday, she felt on the verge of being ill. Not enough to summon a doctor or even to lie down, but enough that she didn't feel healthy. The weather, perhaps. But no matter what is was, it was spoiling her mood.   
"Good morning, your majesty!" bowed a maid as Amneris entered her own chambers of the palace. "I love your dress today."   
Amneris smiled confidently. She was wearing a light blue, slender gown. "Thank you. But what else would one expect?"   
For some reason the gown reminded her of Aida. She had said that she'd make a gown in the color of her eyes, and this one was close. She wore it in spite, because she didn't need some silly slave to do her fashions for her.   
The Nubians knew she was alive. But to everyone else, she was dead, a victim of a secret assassination Amneris hadn't heard of until at least several days after her wedding. From what Amneris could figure out without asking too many questions, one of the Nubians had been killed instead. With the real Aida gone, no one had noticed the absence of a girl who was supposed to be dead. Except for Amneris.   
She felt nothing but anger towards Radames. Aida was more complicated, if just because she hadn't seen the girl since before her wedding. No, the last time she had seen her she was kissing her fiancée.   
She could have stopped everything from happening. After all, while she had trouble hearing Aida and Radames from her hiding place behind the wall, she had heard enough to know that Aida would be leaving Egypt soon. She could have stopped it, gained her revenge. And she would have been a hero in the eyes of the court.   
But… Aida was in an incredible amount of pain. Amneris had never seen anyone cry like that before, not Radames when his mother died, not even herself. It was a trade off, then, even if Aida would never know about it. 'You at least tried to help me; you at least tried to treat me like a person. Even if you were tricking me. I don't care if it's a lie, because at least that was the lie you were giving me instead of treating me like the others do. In return, I'll let you get away. Just don't ever come back. I don't want to think about you again. It's too hard.'   
It was never quite hate. Instead it was much more confusing. Amneris wanted to hate Aida, and somewhere under the muddle she was fairly sure that she did. Or…at least was supposed to. Dammit, why did her mind always betray her into thinking the girl was a friend? Everything was too confusing.   
"Nothing else but your finery, my queen!" exclaimed Tetema, who was lying down on a couch. Ah, so her ladies were here already.   
"You are, as always, the highest in fashion," said another.   
Another morning. Another routine. The same artificially produced emotions. When would it end?   
Amneris liked the feeling of being caught up in the whirlwind. She would go shopping, or to the sauna, and drown herself in that giddy feeling. If anything, at least it was familiar.   
"Would you like to the market?" Namiva asked.   
Shopping, yes, that could work. Amneris clapped her hands. "I'll be ready in a few minutes."   
"Do you require any assistance, your Majesty?" Shetari asked.   
Amneris shook her head. "No, no, I feel inspiration this morning." She clapped her hands again in glee. "I'll just be a few minutes."   
Amneris made her way behind the curtain of her corners, back through several hallways into her closet/dressing room. She sat down in front of her desk, facing the mirror. She hadn't intended on going to the market when she originally dressed, so she hadn't planned accordingly.   
The dress did show off her face well, though. Her blond hair contrasted well with the lighter fabric of the dress. It looked like the color of her eyes-   
Dammit, not Aida again! If the girl was going to leave the country, couldn't she leave her thoughts as well? No, she didn't care about Aida any more, because Aida wasn't anything any more. Keep telling yourself that, Neris, she thought to herself.   
Damn the stupid dress. It had been one of her favorites before Aida arrived, and there was no reason to change that now. And who the hell cared what she looked like in the market, anyway?   
I shouldn't be this grumpy, not this early in the morning…she thought to herself. Headache.   
She put on a new pair of earrings, enough to constitute a trip back to her dressing room. Giving the mirror a final glance, Amneris made her way back to her chambers, where her women would be waiting.   
She could hear their voices as she put a hand on the curtain to let herself through.   
Instead of showing herself, Amneris simply leaned against the wall of the back room.   
"I heard that her husband…well, needless to say his wife wasn't his first."   
"Really!" cried Namiva. "I knew that something was wrong, but oh my!"   
Her blood was freezing and boiling all at once…   
"With who, though?" Now there was a third voice. Were they all against her? This entire time? "He was away for so long, I suppose it only makes sense."   
"If I tell you, you can tell no one."   
"Of course not!"   
"I hear it was with one of the slaves."   
It was Shetari's voice, she realized. Shetari, the girl whom she'd known for at least seven years, the one who was supposed to be the one who knew her best out of the girls.   
A burst of giggles followed. "I've been talking to some of the guards who watch the royal bedchamber. They say "her royal majesty's" poor performance had something to-"   
"Get out," Amneris hissed, stepping out of her hiding place.   
The looks on her ladies faces ranged from surprise to dismay to horror. "Your majesty!" breathed Shetari. "We were just-"   
"Get out," Amneris repeated again. She didn't look, but she could hear the girls scamper away in fright. Idiots.   
She could do anything she wanted with them, of course. Bring in new ladies, banish them, and if she truly felt nasty, accuse them of some false crime and throw them into the prison. But it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't take back the words they had said or the truth behind them. Stupid girls. Stupid, silly, insipid…and damn, that didn't stop it from hurting like hell.   
No, she would keep them here. For the next couple of days she wouldn't say anything at all, and that would be a relief from the usual chatter.   
If we ever meet again, Aida, you owe me.   
Amneris picked up a purple hat, placed it on her head, and looked at herself in the mirror. Tacky. She could feel the adrenaline drain from her body. "Some strong suit," she mumbled. Would there ever be another?   
Her head was throbbing in full force, and now there was a dry feeling in her mouth to go along with it. How could it only be the morning?   
"Your majesty?" asked a voice, knocking at her door.   
What now? she wondered. "Yes?" she asked impatiently.   
"I'm afraid it's important. It's about your father." 

Author's Notes: Well, I finally did it. I updated. Yay! Please give me feedback, both positive and negative, it really helps a lot. 

I have some updates coming up. 1: The next part of this story. It's finished, but I need to have my beta-reader give me her thoughts. When that gets published depends on what she has to say and how much I have to revise. Hopefully it will just be a day or two, depending on when she's online. 2: A revised version of what is here of Elaborate Lives so far. There have been some things that have been bugging me for a while that I want to change. The overall story won't be that different, but I do want to add on something else to the prologue (I might make a list of changes next time I update). 3: My first Rent fan-fic. I didn't mean to start another project, but I became very inspired one night. I had some people on the Rent list look at it, and while it got some nice feedback, I need to expand it.   
Anyway, look for these coming up, in probably about that order. Whispers will also be finished somewhere in there (it really just has one part that I need to sit down and write). There should never be nearly as long of a wait between parts as what had happened before, at least for this story. See ya then!   
  



	8. Voices and Silence

Part VIII: Voices and Silence

Note: I'm giving this one a PG-13 rating. Still, nothing bad.

It took all of her determination, all of her telling herself that she was the queen, to keep Amneris from bursting into tears. "Bring the prisoner forward," Radames commanded. The solemn look on Radames' face matched her own. They might not be friends, or even allies, but for a moment she was willing to be at his side. Anger burned inside of her as bright as fire.

She couldn't describe the feeling in her stomach. She thanked the gods that she hadn't eaten anything that day, for she never would have been able to keep it in. The revulsion consumed her entire body.

Doctor Blaykni looked much less dignified, and almost unrecognizable without his usual attire on. And to think, even a few days ago he had made friendly small talk with her. Supposedly he hadn't spoken a word since his arrest. This man was the reason why her father was dead.

Radames stood, and everyone else in the room followed suit. "With Horus watching over us, let the trial begin."

Voices.

"Do you admit to the charges presented before you, Doctor Blaykni?"

"Considering the situation, your willingness to comply would be appreciated."

"You do realize that the evidence before you incriminates you, and that you are the only witness stepping forward in your own defense. Unless you offer evidence otherwise-"

"Why won't he say anything? What is he hiding?"

"Unless you speak, we will have no other choice but to declare you guilty under the laws of our lands. There is no evidence that will abstain you from guilt."

"Where did you receive the arsenic?

"If you reveal the names of any working with you, your sentence may be reduced."

"Your Majesty, are you feeling alright? Radames?"

"Yes, yes, I…"

"Your face is white."

"I'm fine, really…"

"He couldn't have done it alone."

"Most likely not, to have received the arsenic, to have made the connections to have obtained it…and he was rarely the only one with the old Pharaoh. It's all improbable for one man who can barely speak the Egyptian language."

"You do realize that the Egyptian punishment for traitors is to be buried alive under these sands?"

"We have spoken to your government, they have stripped you of foreign immunity, do not think that your former rank will save you…"

"Why would he have been stupid enough to leave the arsenic in the Pharaoh's quarters?"

"This is your last chance to speak upon your own behalf."

"Radames, are you sure you don't want to take a recess? You look sick."

"Under Egyptian law, you have been declared guilty of murder, and will be responsible for the punishments set before you. The Son of Horus has spoken." 

"Then your Majesty, I leave the sentencing in your hands."

Time had been a blur until that moment. Looking back on it now, Radames could hardly remember anything that had happened since. His last concrete image was yelling for guards, ordering a plethora of directions that had ended in Doctor Blaykni's arrest. Hastily, the court was alerted. The trial wasn't to begin to the next day, but there had been a tense grip to the palace ever since. Somewhere in there someone had forced him to sleep, but he had waken only to feel even more exhausted.

He made a mental note to apologize to anyone he had snapped at in the last day. Well, at least those His Majesty was allowed to apologize to, which left some of the nobles and maybe some of the men he had served with as Captain. Even that made a long list given his temper ever since this incident had started. His own emotions were impossible to read, but the easiest one to express was anger.

Radames stood up. At least I could make this wrong right, he thought to himself. If I can do anything that's right as Pharaoh…

A strange sensation was moving through his hands, like they were too light to remain on the ground. When he looked down at them he couldn't control the erratic shaking consuming his right hand. Angrily, he slapped his left hand down upon it to control it, but there was no stopping. Wave after wave of nausea threatened to consume his stomach. Weakly, he brought his head up. If the gods were on his side, his face wouldn't be half as red as he felt right now…

"For his crimes, Doctor Blaykni of Greece will receive the punishment of the traitor." He put his hands to his sides to stop the shaking. "He will be…entombed beneath…the sands of Egypt and-"

__

A door opened into another world…he could see himself, forced into a traitor's bow. "I trusted you Radames, I trusted your father…"

"Your majesty?" he asked hoarsely, looking around the throne room for a face he could not find. "I'm so sorry, I-"

"Radames, are you alright?" someone asked. It sounded like his father, but the world was spinning so rapidly out of motion that he could no longer tell.

_"Now I will make things right. For their crimes, the traitors-"_

"No, please," he begged. "I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to do anything-"

"What the hell are you doing?" Amneris hissed in his ear, but by then Radames was in mind farther away from her than ever before.

_There were arms on him now, wrenching him from his position. They were taking Aida as well, and somewhere far away her tears were intermingling with his despair…_

"No!" he screamed. "Don't take me away from her, gods, just spare her, just spare her…"

"Radames!" someone shouted out. 

_"I love you, you know that, right Aida?" he asked. "Aida?!"_

"I was loyal," she said. "And for that, I am redeemed. You are a traitor, Radames."

"She is right. Aida will be returned to her own land, for she is to be rewarded for tricking you. You will be buried alive and alone alone underneath the sands of Egypt."

"Gods, please no, please no…I didn't mean to!" His heart was pounding with fear. And then he was looking up into the sky for the last time. But even as he saw the sun, it began to fade before his eyes in to night. Stars appeared, and then one by one those too disappeared.

The Pharaoh was holding him on his right, his father on the left. "Radames, I trusted you," the Pharaoh repeated.

"Why are you doing this?" Radames begged. "Where am I? Father?"

Zoser smiled sinisterly. He turned to the Pharaoh, who nodded. "Why are you doing this? If you can see my guilt then why can you not see his?" He couldn't move now. Helpless and light as a feather, his father shoved him into the tomb.

The lid slammed close quickly. "Radames?" asked a voice. From an unknown source shown a dim light. The voice sounded familiar, like one he had heard just before.

The air in the tomb was thick and heavy. Radames crawled weakly towards the light. "Who are you?"

He hardly recognized the Pharaoh in these commoner robes he now wore. His hair was disheveled, his skin nearly white. "Radames, my son. I would hope that you would not come to visit me. It's not your time yet."

The light grew dimmer. "What is happening?"

"I do not understand your course of actions, nor approve them. But you are still the boy I saw grow to manhood, and you are the one in my place now. Find him, Radames."

"Find who?"

"He killed me. I trusted him as I trusted you, and he betrayed me. You too have misused my trust."

"Your Majesty, I-"

"It is not the dead's place to say things we could not in life. But you must find the man that killed me."

"We have found him, Your Majesty, he will be buried underneath the sands of our country before the next moon rises-"

"Doctor Blaykni was simply a tool. The tool needs a man to wield it. Radames, do not fail me. Regardless of your heart, your are an Egyptian."

"Who is that's done this to you?" he asked.

"The man I trusted-"

"Radames!"

__

And then the world was spinning and full with the lights of the trial room again. He was on the floor, face wet with tears and surrounded by his court.

His father looked at him cynically. "Do you wish to continue with the sentencing, Your Majesty?"

"What happened?" Amneris asked the physician. Inside of the sick room, she could see Radames lying down on a cot. He was awake, and while he looked unpleased, he looked calm.

"Who knows for sure, but I don't believe it's anything serious. I've talked to him a little, and he seems to have returned to normal, no signs of sickness or anything such as that. But he says he hardly remembers. It could easily have been the heat or the stress of the last few days, even the last few months. He's had a lot on his mind lately."

Amneris raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm sure."

Several hours later found both Amneris and Radames back in their own bedroom. He had made excuses, of course, but Amneris knew he didn't want to face the court, simply giving a soldier a message that he was feeling healthier, but required rest.

"Well, that was an interesting little show you put on back there," Amneris said as she took down her hair. She turned her back to her husband. "You should have told me what you were planning in advance. I could have taken off my clothes to add to the entertainme-"

"Be quiet, Amneris," Radames snapped. He let out a quick sigh. There was anger in his voice, but a lack of energy, like he didn't really have the strength to fight her. Which left a greater opening for Amneris.

"Why should I?" she asked as she unbuttoned her dress, her back turned to Radames. She slipped the garment over her head. "I figured that maybe I could help fill our quota of words, since we seem to be pretty behind-"

Radames turned around. Amneris' attention immediately turned to her mostly naked body. She was as attractive as ever, but caught off-guard she felt vulnerable and weak, as if everything that had made her inferior to Aida was brought to light. Even when they were just children she had never been so exposed in front of him. Her breath deepened. He wouldn't…no, Radames was a good man despite all else…but she was his wife now, and if he wanted to-

But he wasn't looking at her body, or even her eyes. He was staring right through her. Radames' eyes were cold, and in pain. "What is wrong with you?" Amneris asked. Her tone sobered in defense. "Are you completely insane?" Maybe if she kept on talking like she was in control, she would remain that way…

He shook his head and turned his back towards her again. Relief flooded through her. Amneris was quick to discard the rest of her clothing and quickly replace it with a white nightgown. There was a moment of silence before Radames spoke again. "Forget about it."

"Fine," Amneris said, returning to her mocking tone of voice. Now fully clothed again, she had the edge once more. Voices within her head told her to stop, but not today. Too much had happened, was happening, to simply stare at the wall while her so-called husband muddled on for yet another day. She was Amneris, dammit. Princess-no, Queen of Egypt. That made her the most powerful woman in the world. Nothing should have kept her from doing exactly what she wanted any time she wanted, and yet she had spent the last few months as doubtful and meek as a kitchen wench. She couldn't keep her emotions bottled up under her skin any longer. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"Trying to run a country," Radames responded. She caught his eyes in cold contact. So he was taking the bait. This could only get worse from here. Amneris didn't care, instead looking forward to the conflict with gleeful anticipation. Anything to stop the pain welling up inside of her every day until she was ready to burst from the inside out.

"Oh, I see. By sleeping walking through your duty and sleeping with the enemy?

Anger flared within his eyes, and Amneris wondered for a split second if he would hit her. She didn't know if she wanted him to, if just so finally the conflict between them would be real and physical, and she could stop second guessing.

"Please be quiet," was all he said. She wasn't sure if that was a demand or a plea.

I can't be quiet, she thought to herself. I can't take it any more. "Then what in the name of Horus are you doing, Radames? If you're going to scorn me, you might not as well not scorn your country too. Or did that stop being an issue the moment you-":

He looked up at the ceiling, as if to question the gods themselves. "Will you ever be quiet?"

Anger flared deep in her insides. "No, I won't. I won't just sit around here while you don't speak to me, while we try to pretend like the other doesn't exist. I can't do this forever, Radames."

He slammed a fist angrily against the bureau. Amneris forced herself not to jump. "What more do you want me to do, Amneris? I tried so hard in the beginning to make you forgive me, and you wouldn't even occur to you to listen. Has it ever crossed your mind that I feel badly about this?"

She pondered over the thought for a moment. "You seemed to be enjoying it at the time."

"What do you want me to do?" he repeated again. "You won't accept my apology. Fine. But we're still married, and you're still the queen. We don't have much of a choice but to keep living like this."

"Do you have any idea what they say about me when I'm not listening in court?" she asked angrily. "They say that it's my fault that you screwed around with that whore." Radames' face was visibly pained as she said that. "I'm nothing more but a mockery in their eyes."

Radames laughed sarcastically. "And you think this is nothing new? By Horus, Princess, you and your fashion, your endless servants, your wild escapades…do you really think any of them took you seriously to begin with? I'll take a lot of blame, but I won't take blame for what you do to yourself."

The words stung sharper than knives. "Including you, of course. You most of all."

Radames paused, his face growing serious. "But that never meant that I didn't care for the girl who I grew up with, and was my only friend for so long."

She looked down, afraid to say what was next. "That's not enough, and I don't believe you anyway. If you cared you wouldn't have done this to me. I was in love with you, and gods damn to hell, I probably am still. All of my life, there was no one who would take me as I was. Then suddenly there was you. And look what you've done to me."

"Amneris, I don't understand it, I don't understand why I did what I did, and I never wanted to-"

"Oh, you just fell into bed with her?"

Radames paused for a breath, which after years of knowing him she knew was to calm his temper. "I never meant to hurt you."

"Funny, it's too late for that now."

Silence reigned for long minutes afterwards as each continued their own nighttime routine. Amneris kept herself looking away from Radames to avoid him seeing the swelling tears in her eyes. "So what happened today in the court?" She asked this question with a neutral tone.

"I think I became sick. I…" He swallowed. "I stopped seeing things that were real eventually. I was still in the court room, but I was…you know, several feet from when Minister Ralen usually sits?"

She nodded breathlessly.

"It was like if I had been caught for what I had done. Your father was still alive, and he sentenced me to be buried alive." His face was red. "Don't you get it, Neris? That tomb that I sentenced Doctor Blaykni to be buried in? It was supposed to have been mine. Everything I did today…I can't help but think that if some small detail had changed, if I had done something slightly differently, I'd be rotting in my grave right now, and I would be a traitor. And that scares me more than anything." His eyes were full of despair. "How did I come to this?" he asked himself.

For a split second, Amneris thought that she saw the glimmer of a tear in his left ear. A shimmer of water, and then it was gone. Emotion retracted from his face completely, replaced by a dull despair.

Something about his pose reminded her of a time when she had seen him several months ago. It was before he had left on that last expedition, the one that would take him to Nubia. His head was bent down towards the floor and his eyes were partly closed. Several months ago it was a gesture of respect to the Pharaoh. There was confidence and life behind his closed eyes. But now…Amneris didn't know if there was anything in his eyes.

She wanted to retort with another comment that would set him off into another level of their fight. She wanted to keep him this way. But…somewhere in there was the boy that she had comforted when his mother died. And she couldn't bear to hurt him.

"Do you think I am a traitor?" he asked.

Amneris shrugged. "I don't know. You helped-you slept with our enemy. You turned against Egypt." Her throat became tight. They were no longer accusations, simply her own pain. "You disgraced me."

"Amneris-"

"Never mind, I didn't answer your question."

"And…?" Radames asked.

Amneris shrugged pathetically. "I don't know."

Radames nodded his head, painfully taking everything in. "Neither do I. I…" His voice sounded strained. "I look at everything here, everything that we have now, and everywhere I go it all feels wrong." He looked at the Pharaoh's crown that was on top of his dresser. "It's not supposed to be mine. This wing of the palace, the gods damned throne…it wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to die." 

Her voice was hoarse, she could barely get out the words she wanted to say. "I know." She couldn't bear the look on his face any longer. It took all her courage to make her nerves connect in her arms, but somehow they managed to move. Amneris put a nearly shaking hand on his shoulder, first just a few fingers and then her entire palm. She could feel his muscles tense at first, but then they relaxed slightly as Amneris let her hand fully relax as well. She let it drop along his side until it lingered at his wrist. Radames' own hand tensed. Braving on, she slid her hand down into his own, finding that his fingers were open to intertwine with hers, and then to close simultaneously. Amneris kept her hand still, and then rubbed her thumb against his palm slightly. He tightened his hand over her own, firm, but gentle. She was terrified to look at his face, but even more terrified to let go.

_The past…_

"I hate the dark!"

"You want to know a secret?"

Very little was going to make her feel better at this point. "What?"

"So do I. But at least we have each other, right? If the Nubians come and attack us, at least the other can yell for help."

"Radames, you do realize that this is all your fault." 

She couldn't even see his face in the dark, but she could tell that he was grinning nevertheless. "I know. But, this is much more fun than sitting at the banquet, isn't it?"

"Fine, it is. But next time lets go into a secret tunnel with light in it?"

"Okay, fair deal. And Neris?"

"What?"

"Don't tell anyone about what I said, alright?"

"Promise."

"Can I really trust you?"

"Of course, you silly!" Laughter filled the chamber, echoing off the cold, stone walls. 

They stood like that until finally Amneris moved to take a few blankets and a pillow off of the top of the bed. When she looked up Radames' face looked puzzled.

She smiled shyly. "It's about time that you get a turn. Goodnight, Radames."

Radames was still standing when Amneris closed her eyes. On the floor. He didn't think he'd live to see the day that Amneris of Egypt willingly refused a luxury. Whatever had just happened between them, he didn't understand any part of it. Wordlessly, he made his way to his own bed. He was amazed at the softness of the mattress. The palace floor was so hard it made some of the ground in the southern countries seem comfortable. From here, unlike the floor, he could see her face. Asleep, Amneris looked peaceful, nearly angelic.

He could still feel the place on his hand where she had held it in her own. Still felt warm. What was going on…? 

"Goodnight, Neris."

Author's notes: Don't know if anyone caught the Scarlet Pimpernel reference in the doctor's name. I was thinking about using Blakeney, but that seemed to blatantly English. Anyway, the story behind that is that this part was basically finished a couple of days ago (okay, fine a week), but I kept getting distracted by Scarlet Pimpernel stuff. So, anyone else think Douglas Sils would make a good Radames?

Uh…anyway, please give me feedback. It's my inspiration to write more.


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